Comfortable Ever After
by crzzytn
Summary: AH. Summary inside. "I have always liked Jake as a person, but I have never liked the fact that you married him to fill a void that belongs to Edward.” “That isn’t true – ” Bella started, but was quickly interrupted. “Shut up. Yes, it is.” Rose said.
1. Chapter 1

Summary:

**So, Bella dated Edward in high school. When he broke things off before he left for college, she dated Jake for the remainder of high school, only to end up with Edward throughout her own college experience. Things were always exhilarating between the two of them. So, what happened to make Bella take off and marry her best friend? **

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Okay, so for those who know me.**

**I'm sorry about NBT - it's coming - but it has to come to me. I can't just think things up anymore... **

**FFM has extremely long chapters and I haven't had time since the semester started to write any more.**

**This story has been running around in my head for weeks, and it's pretty much developed in my head, so I'm running with it. **

**That being said NBT, FFM, and CEA will all be completed... Count on it. Especially with November 20th so close. Whoo!**

**Please review, it makes me smile, it makes me write.**

**AH**

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Bella unlocked the door to her apartment and fumbled in, exhausted from the day. She threw her bag down in the foyer, tossed her keys onto the table, and kicked her shoes underneath. Work had been an absolute nightmare for the past few weeks. A new intern had started with her department – and would hopefully soon be leaving. The girl was a wreck and she couldn't figure out what Mike and Angela had been thinking when they hired her. Well, maybe Mike – but Angela? Everyday she wished more and more that she hadn't been sick the morning of the interviews. Jessica, the intern, couldn't work a copier, always forgot to dial nine on the fax, questioned why she didn't get a personal line, and never showed up before 10:00 A.M. She seemed to prefer not to work, and often said those exact words, so Bella had taken to calling her Bartleby. She didn't get it, of course, but Bella, Angela, and Mike usually got a good laugh out of it.

As much as she had been looking forward to this night all week, she was practically dreading it now. Her brother, Emmett, and his wife, Rosalie, were moving back to Seattle and tonight was their celebratory dinner. He was offered a job with C.M. Advertising – a large company with offices in six states – that not only paid well but offered incredible benefits. He had been wanting to move back home for a while, but Rose had been less enthusiastic about the idea. She had roots in Tennessee and refused to leave without a concrete job for Emmett. It was reasonable, of course, but Bella still hated that they had been so far away.

Emmett was her big brother, and for the longest time he considered that his sole job description. He was one person she could talk to about anything without having to worry about it getting around. So, when Rose came along while he was in college, she wasn't thrilled at the idea of Em having a serious relationship. Emmett never dated anyone longer than two months and Bella had a hard time with it – she felt like she was getting replaced. So of course, she didn't make it easy on Rosalie – and Rosalie fought back. Things were pretty vicious between the two until Emmett finally reached his breaking point one night and after several long talks, a few petty name callings, and a couple hugs, the feud ended. Since then, the two had become almost best friends, with plenty of two hour phone calls throughout the day. Once a week, at Bella's discretion, they had a 'lunch date' together. She would put her phone on the headset and vent to Rose about whatever was bothering her as she maneuvered her way to her favorite coffee shop. Usually, it ended up being the days that Bella didn't have time for lunch and was stuck living on caffeine and a slice of cake. It had been too long since Bella had seen either one of them and she was excited they were flying in tonight to get a little settled before he began work next week.

With nowhere near enough energy, but a latte in hand and Green Day having the time of their life on her iPod, she began preparing for dinner. When Em had given her the news, she had offered to make her specialty seasoned steaks that she reserved strictly for what she called 'Emmett's special occasions,' and was trying to think of a way out of it when the doorbell rang. She jumped –startled - and knocked her latte off the edge of the counter and onto her bare feet.

"Shit!" She shouted unintentionally before turning towards the door to yell at whomever was on the opposite side. "This better be important or I will beat the ever-loving hell out of you with whatever is closest to the door."

"Bella?" A very loud, very masculine voice came through the door. "Are you okay?" Bella recognized the voice immediately and stormed to unlock the door.

"What the hell, Jake? You scared me! Why didn't you just use your key?" Jacob stood staring at her after she yanked the door, soaking wet and looking slightly abashed. He put on a big, goofy grin and stuck his tongue at her, immediately strengthening her anger. She bit her tongue so she wouldn't say anything she'd regret and looked at him expectantly. He simply shrugged his shoulders and chuckled quietly before wrapping his arm around her waist, kissing her forehead, and leading her back into the apartment. He had always thought she was unbelievably cute when she got angry.

"Honey, I left it at the shop. I'm sorry." He said as he put a pathetic puppy dog pout on his face.

"Jake, you know if you put all of your keys on one key ring, you would quit leaving your house key at work, your work key at home, and your car keys locked inside of whichever building you were last inside." She spat out, annoyed by the fact that she'd been saying this for two years and he still hadn't listened. He nodded his head, walked over to the couch, flopped down, and grabbed the remote control. Bella, as nicely as she could manage, reminded him that he was supposed to pick Emmett and Rose up at the airport in only two hours. He nodded his head okay and she returned to the kitchen to clean up the latte mess and get back to dinner.

About an hour later she had managed to get everything cooking in some way or another and the house was filled with the 'amazing scent of spices and man food,' as Emmett and Jake called it. Jacob had reluctantly flipped off the television before kissing her goodbye and heading towards the airport. Not five minutes after she had finally sat down, her cell phone started ringing. _I swear, I will never get a break today. _She thought as she crossed the room, her scowl immediately changing to a smile when she saw her best friend's name flash across the caller ID.

"Alice!" She exclaimed.

"Bella!" Alice said, returning Bella's enthusiasm. "Is this a good time then?" She questioned. Bella never answered the phone that way when Jake was around, and their talk time was always limited.

"Yeah. He went to go pick up Em and Rose so I've got a good hour or two before he'll be back. I'm cooking though so I may have to stick you on the headset for a while."

"Isabella Black, when are you going to get a Bluetooth? Those things are so much clearer and your way less likely to melt it while you're cooking dinner."

"Alice, that only happened once – two years ago. Let it go. Besides, I'm three times as likely to lose it, and bound to run the battery dead all the time. Drop it." Bella said, slightly annoyed. Alice changed the subject quickly.

"So, Em and Rose are coming back tonight? You must be excited, right? You haven't seen them since last Christmas, have you? I haven't seen them since the wedding..." She trailed off.

"Yes, they are. I was excited but today just kept going from bad to worse, I swear. I overslept, I didn't get a decent shower, my boss handed me three repeats from Bartleby, and Jake forgot his key, making me spill a hot latte on my feet when he knocked on the door as hard as he could. And that's only what I can remember right now. There's so much more than that."

"Wow, that… yeah, sorry sweetheart. Anything I can do to help?" Alice questioned, knowing there wasn't.

"Yeah, get your tiny butt on a plane and come see me." Bella joked, only half kidding.

"I've been trying to find time, I promise. It's just I've been trying to get organized for this new line, you know, and free time is proving impossible." She said with remorse in her tone. "I wish you could come see me."

"I don't work for myself, Ali. My boss is being supreme evil lately and you know with all the time I took off earlier in the year to help Dad that I won't be able to get anymore off until after the first of the year, at least. Besides, Jake's not crazy about the idea."

"I know he's not, but he really needs to get over it. We were all friends once, Bells, and it's ridiculous that he gets like this. Hell, the three of us roomed together for an entire summer! I'm so sick of not being able to have a real conversation with you just because he's around." Alice vented.

Bella immediately felt guilty, she knew that her decisions in the past had played a major role in Jake's opinions about Alice but she also knew that wasn't why she couldn't talk to Alice with Jake around. "Ali, he's not like that and you know that. It's just... He's completely fine about all of that, he never even brings it up, but it's an uncomfortable situation to put him in. You know?" She asked, knowing Alice would at least relent a little. In all honesty, she had a hard time talking to Alice around Jake. It wasn't that Alice ever intentionally said anything, but she could never pick up on the impact the conversation was having on Bella from across the telephone line. Alice had many talents, but cross-country perception wasn't one of them. In person, she would have noticed the blank stare that crossed Bella's face, or the sudden nervousness in the pit of her stomach, or the way her foot would start tapping repetitively on the floor. Although it was probably better Alice couldn't tell – it would only make it worse – but she wasn't sure if Jacob could tell and that was nothing she needed to put him through.

"I know, sweetie. I just hate how we've all become so distanced. Em in Tennessee, you two in Seattle, and Edward and I in New York. It's all I've been thinking about lately. So, listen, I know that Em's moving back and I'm starting to think I should too. This business just isn't taking off here, too much competition probably. I might even do better just launching it online. If I do though, I don't want things to be weird. I mean between Jake and I, anyway." Alice nervously rambled out, the way she usually did when she was hiding something. Bella didn't care what that was though, since Alice had just dropped a big piece of news in a rambled out monologue.

"Ali! Are you serious? That would be amazing! I'll keep Jake on his best behavior, I promise." Bella exclaimed as her foot began bouncing in place.

"Well," Alice began nervously continuing where she left off, "the thing is… I was hoping that once Emmett and Rose get a place that maybe I could stay with you guys? I really don't have anywhere to stay in Seattle and I don't want to stay in Forks. Please, don't make me stay in Forks!" Bella thought it over, and decided there were one hundred things that could go wrong with the idea, but she didn't care.

"I'll talk to him, Alice. I'll let you know in the morning, okay? I'll call you on my way into the office."

"Or you could call me on a smoke break? You know I hate getting up that damn early."

"Sure, sure. Well, I really need to get things going here. I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Ok, bye gorgeous, love you." Alice said, with just a hint of hope in her voice. Bella returned the sentiment and, after ending the call, returned to her evening responsibilities. Her hands kept busy but her mind was somewhere else completely. There were a thousand scenarios playing through her head and she wasn't sure if any of them were plausible.

She and Jake had practically grown up together. They both lived with their dads, who happened to be extremely close. Well, as close as men can get to each other. Jake was a couple years younger than her, and went to school on the reservation instead of Forks High, but their dads had always banked on them ending up together. That is, of course, what happened, but not without quite a few bumps in the road. They stayed close throughout her first half of high school, spending practically all of their time together, and even came close to dating a couple times. Then came Bella's junior year. That's the year that Alice moved to Forks and met Bella, and with Alice came Edward. Edward was pretty quite when he started at Forks. He played on the baseball team with Emmett but never really talked to many people. Emmett spent most of his time 'protecting his baby sister,' and Alice and Bella were becoming fast friends, so they ended up like the four musketeers of Forks High School. Alice and Emmett were always loud, laughing, and doing something out of the ordinary while Bella and Edward would tuck their heads and roll their eyes. The four balanced each other out pretty nicely, and on the Sundays when Jake would appear in their group, that balance wasn't disturbed. It was definitely calmer, but not disturbed. Bella had noticed Edward immediately, there was something unnaturally beautiful about him. He had unruly bronze hair, a strong jaw, a piercing gaze, and a smile that made the school's female population melt. He was remarkable. Edward and Bella began dating about two months into the school year and from that point on, everything between Edward and Jacob was quite literally a pissing contest.

When Edward moved away to college, he and Bella decided to continue their friendship but not to worry over a long distance relationship. A senior in high school and a freshman in college had much more to worry about than a cross country relationship. Of course, Edward hadn't counted on Jacob. Not one to miss an opportunity, Jake swooped in as soon as he could. Bella, although she knew it was the right decision at the time, had an extremely difficult time with the separation. She lost contact with most of her friends and moped around most of the time. Emmett, Alice, and Jake were the only ones who could get two words out of her. Edward was caught up in schoolwork most of the time and their conversations became less and less frequent. By the second month of school they only spoke once a week, at best. Jacob was there for Bella, as always, and she attempted to use Jake to fill the void. She knew what she was doing and she wasn't proud of herself for doing it, but she needed to be able to breathe again, to be able to just live. For the most part, it worked. They started dating and became pretty serious – more serious than Bella had ever been with a guy before, including Edward. When the time came for Bella to start putting in applications for college, she applied everywhere. She and Alice had decided shortly after meeting that they were going to room together – no matter what – for the duration of college. They ended up with a few mutual acceptances but eventually decided on New York. Bella had no intentions of making the same mistake twice, and was fully prepared to try to maintain her relationship with Jake. It would be hard with Edward around, but they had been just friends once, and she was certain she could do it again. Jake didn't agree. He was furious that she would be in the same city as Edward and he would be stuck in high school. He told her he couldn't do it, he couldn't live with that doubt, and Bella said she understood.

She did, of course, but it didn't stop her from hurting. She resented Jake for having that doubt in her but realized after her first day in New York that it wasn't without precedence. Edward had the ability to be everything right and everything wrong in her life; he could be absolutely frustrating and absolutely enticing at the same time. He was it for her. For a while, anyway. Then things started going bad shortly after her college graduation and she ended up returning to Seattle. The rest, as they say, is history.

Jake never openly talked about his feelings over the past. He never said "I told you so," or accused her of loving Edward still, or brought up the way her focus shifted when the topic turned to Edward. But he knew. And Bella knew he knew. Just as the way her eyes shifted towards the person who said Edward's name, Jacob's eyes shifted to her. If they were with a group of friends and she told a college story, Jake's glance would lower to the rim of his beer bottle and he wouldn't resume interest in the conversation until it was over. Jake didn't spend time worrying over Edward, and Bella was thankful for that. Even if the man would still make her heart stop, she wouldn't hurt Jake anymore. She couldn't. He had always been like her best friend. He had always protected her when she needed it, and comforted her when she wouldn't admit she needed it. His immaturity brought her to the point of irritation daily, but brightened her stressful evenings without fail. He stuck his tongue out to lighten the mood, spoke in baby talk to make her giggle, and went on rants about the most miniscule things until they were both laughing so hard their sides hurt. All of these things that amused Bella in private, but embarrassed her in public, were the very reason she loved him. She loved they could throw insults back and forth, and argue about the DVR. She loved that he didn't give in to make her happy, and that she didn't give up her life to be with him. She loved that she could get mad at him, and he at her - that she wasn't consumed by him. They were equals, they were friends, and they were comfortable ever after.


	2. Chapter 2

Bella had just finished setting the table when she heard the click of the doorknob beginning to turn.

"Bella!" A booming voice echoed throughout her apartment (and probably a few others.) Bella took off towards her brother's voice and quickly found herself enveloped in a bear hug, spinning in circles about twelve inches off the ground. She had truly missed her brother and any unhappiness towards the evening dissolved the instant he hugged her. After a solid two minutes, he let her down and pulled back to see her. His face lit up as he took in his baby sister for the first time in almost a year.

"Em!" She squealed, "I've missed you like crazy! Thank God you're home. We have so much to catch up on. I've been working towards this promotion at work, and I just might get it. Alice is thinking about…" She hesitated briefly, not wanting to tell Jake this way, but winked at Em and scratched her nose so he'd know they needed to talk later. "coming to visit sometime in the near future. Isn't that great? Where is my Rose?" She rambled on, glancing at Jake to make sure he hadn't noticed. Emmett noticed her glance and gave Jake a uselessly disapproving glare, since he had already flopped back onto the couch to resume watching the game. Emmett and Jake had always got along, they grew up together just the same as he and Bella did, but Emmett just never felt Jake was right for his sister. Lately, he'd become even more convinced. Rose didn't tell him much of her and Bella's conversations, but what she did let slip was plenty. When he released his glare from the back of Jacob's head he threw his thumb over his shoulder and shrugged as his grin grew. Rose, after hearing her name, nervously peeped over Emmett's shoulder – in a way that only a 5'9" woman in heels could do – and gave a big, goofy grin to Bella. Apparently, she was picking up some of Em's cute little habits. "Sis! Why are you hiding behind Emmett? Come give me a hug." She demanded, curious about this new shyness coming from her sister. Rose cautiously stepped around Emmett and flung herself in to Bella's arms. There was no spinning around this time, just a simple hug, but it lasted longer than Emmett's. When they finally stepped apart, Bella got her first good look at her sister since they'd arrived. You would have never thought that she had just stepped off an insanely long flight. There wasn't a smudge of make-up or a hair out of place. How she did that, with Jake's tendency to ride with all four windows down and the radio up, Bella couldn't figure out. Her long blonde hair cascaded in layers around her face, which seemed to have rounded slightly. She was dressed in a simple cotton skirt with a tank top and sweater that seemed to be fitting a little snug. Noticing that, Bella paid closer attention to the rest of her appearance. Rosalie literally lived on salads, white meat, and water. She hadn't so much as gained a pound since her sophomore year of high school. Bella was shocked to find that all of Rose looked different. Her clothes were a little snugger, her legs a little thicker, her face a little rounder and brighter, and she was only wearing three inch heels. It wasn't enough to hardly be noticeable – Jake apparently hadn't seen the difference- but Bella couldn't miss it. She glanced back up at Emmett and Rose, alternating looking at each one of them as all three of their smiles grew bigger. Bella cast a questioning glance at Rose, raising an eyebrow to emphasize her question. Rose's already impossible smile grew bigger as she nodded her head up and down. Bella shrieked and ran to hug her again, bouncing up and down in excitement.

"How long?" She managed to stumble out through her current state.

"First week of my second trimester." Rose announced proudly, "We didn't want to tell anyone until the first was over. I'm sorry." She gave an apologetic grin to Bella, "If it helps, you're the first to know." Bella just nodded her head, too emotional to speak. This wasn't the first time they had been able to conceive in their almost four years of marriage but it was the first they had made it to the second trimester. It was a milestone for all three of them. Bella had been more involved and more helpful than either of them had expected her to. She had no hesitation in showing up to whisk Rose away for a week or two in Seattle to help her get away from it all. Every time it happened, Emmett had come home to a note explaining what happened and that she was with Bella. It probably wasn't the most mature way to handle the situation but it worked for them. Emmett didn't have to push aside his own feelings in order to try and handle Rosalie's – he was extremely thankful to Bella for that. He wanted this almost as much as Rosalie and it tore him up inside just as much as it did her. So, he when he arrived home those days to find the note – always on baby blue paper and always written in script, classic Rosalie – he immediately scheduled the next flight out and began packing. He didn't come to Seattle, he didn't lean on Bella the way Rose did. He didn't lean on anyone. He flew out to New York and spent a week drinking beer and getting high on Edward's couch, watching Disney all day long. Of course, Rose didn't know all of that. There was still the sibling secrecy Bella was bound to, and honestly, she didn't blame him for his actions one bit.

Dinner went smoothly as conversation flowed freely between the four. Jacob, upon realizing the conversation he had missed, announced his happiness for the two. Bella never opened the wine, placing it back in the fridge since Rose wasn't able to drink any with her. She never really liked drinking alone – or even when the guys were drinking their beer – unless there was a good reason.

Jacob suggested that he take the father-to-be out for to celebrate, and the girls agreed. The two men hugged their wives, both kissing their foreheads before quietly walking out the door. The silence didn't last long, however, as Emmett's booming laugh quickly filled the halls. As soon as the door closed, Rosalie and Bella started talking like two old women in a beauty shop about who did what, when, where, and who. They walked out to the patio – Bella and Jake (and Emmett) had agreed they would stop smoking in the house for the time being – and sat down in the loungers.

"So, enough about my dreams coming true." Rose said with a giggle, "How are things with you? How's happily ever after?" Bella rolled her eyes.

"You mean comfortable ever after? It's… pleasant." She said with a sigh, while Rose snorted at the word used to describe her marriage. "I don't know, Rose, it's just… ah, forget it. It probably doesn't make any sense."

"Sweetheart, please. Trust me when I say it makes perfect sense. I've known you too long, and we've talked way too much over these past three years for me not to understand. Spill it." Rose never minded listening to Bella's dramatics. She was a great friend like that. Sure, Bella could talk to Emmett about anything but his solution was usually to kidnap Bella and take her to New York. Rose just listened.

"It seems like it never lets up anymore." She started, shutting her eyes tightly to block out any memories trying to force their way in. "It's like every single song somehow relates to him; like I close my eyes and I see him leaning in to kiss me. When I close my eyes and cuddle up at night, I think of what it could be like, what it could feel like if it were him. If I laugh at something, I think of him laughing right beside me. If I walk down the hall at work and I stumble, I remember every time he caught me. If I'm on the phone with Alice, I swear I hear him in the background when he isn't there. It's like my head just wants me to hear his voice or something. I never stops lately, like our entire relationship is on repeat in my head all day."

"Don't you think that could be, I don't know, a sign?" Rose said sarcastically. She had been team Edward since the two first started getting along and hadn't been the most excited attendee at Bella's engagement party.

"Gee, you think Rose?" Bella said with a dry laugh. "But I can't hurt Jake again, you know that. Besides, things weren't going well, remember? The controlling way he was getting, the fighting all night, the…." She trailed off, not remembering anything more than that.

"Well, I think you're an idiot." Rose said bluntly, "Honestly, I remember the fighting – but I could sleep through it. It was the making up that had me, Emmett, and Alice headed out for ice cream at three in the morning. I don't know why you moved back."

"Because he's a reckless, insecure, controlling douchebag! That's why." Bella spat out with a newfound enthusiasm on the subject, causing Rose to snort and choke on the water she had been trying to drink. After she finally regained use of her vocal cords, she offered her advice – for the first time in a while – to Bella.

"Not exactly. You totally freaked out, Bells – it wasn't only him. I mean, when he left for New York you ended up with Jacob within a couple months. He was waiting for you, unofficially, but he was. He thought you would wait too. So, he was insecure, especially about Jake. Jake's known you since tummy time and Edward hasn't. He knew if he had one real competitor for you, it would be Jake. And Jake feels the same damn way about Edward, and everyone knows it even if he doesn't show it. I mean, I'm not going to try and kidnap you and take you to New York, that's Emmett's job, but you need to put some serious thought into this before you end up in my condition yourself. What's great for me won't be great for you if you're unhappy, kiddo. Don't worry so much about hurting Jake. Yes, he's a good guy and no, he probably doesn't deserve it but, honestly, the same can be said for Edward. If you ever tell him I said that though, I'll kick your ass. Just quit worrying about that, quit worrying that Charlie likes Jacob best and Edward none at all, and quit coming up with excuses. I have always liked Jake as a person, but I have never liked the fact that you married him to fill a void that belongs to Edward."

"That isn't true – " Bella started, but was quickly interrupted.

"Shut up. Yes, it is." Rose said as she rolled her eyes and smirked. Bella knew Rose was done talking about it - which was strange because Rose generally would listen for hours.

"Damnit, Rose. Quit spending so much time with my brother you're starting to say randomly smart shit at the weirdest times, and I totally noticed the Emmett smile you gave me earlier." Bella said, shaking her head. Rosalie laughed as Bella stormed inside to retrieve the wine – tonight was turning into a good reason.


	3. Chapter 3

**Awww, Please Review.**

Bella pulled Emmett's Jeep into the driveway. Usually, Emmett wouldn't let her near his driver's seat but today was considered special circumstances - he was high. Really, really high. When she finally got it hammered into his head that he was much more likely to total his baby than she was at that point, he had reluctantly handed over the keys. It had been a very pleasant evening, considering she got stuck with the guys because Alice had a date. Not that she minded. Her and Edward had really started getting to know one another. His personality was just as amazing as his looks, and she made it no secret that she definitely didn't mind looking at him. She cast a glance in the rear-view - he was still lost in conversation with Emmett - neither had attempted to get out of the car. Charlie was working overnight which meant that the Swan house was home for the weekend. The four of them had began migrating to the others houses depending on whose parents would be gone each weekend. Between doctors and a cop, they usually had one or the other. Alice would most likely show up later since she was technically not allowed to date yet, and was supposedly with them. Edward caught her eyes in the mirror and cast her a wicked grin. She gave a small smile back and bent her neck forward, trying to hide exactly what that grin did to her.

"Yeah," Emmett's voice drew her back to the conversation, "what do you think, Bells?"

"What?"

"Wanna party tomorrow? Outside of Forks- get a room or something, just the four of us." Edward's velvet voice questioned from the backseat.

"Um, yeah - wait, what about Jake?" She knew Billy would never fall for whatever they ended up telling Charlie and the Cullen's. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Don't you go anywhere without your boyfriend following you?"

"He isn't my boyfriend, Edward." She said, annoyed by the assumptions everyone in Fork's made.

"He's not?" Edward looked surprised - which was completely out of character for him. Bella looked at him questioningly before shaking her head in a deliberate movement. Why was that so surprising? Did they honestly act like they were dating? Edward's grin grew a bit and Bella's eyes knotted together with confusion- what the hell was with Edward?

"Bella?" Edward began slowly, "you guys seriously aren't together? You do realize that's what the entire school thinks, right?"

"Well, Eddie-boy, why don't you prove them wrong?" Emmett interjected. Edward cast a menacing glare towards him and Bella cocked her head to the side, still trying to figure out what the two were up to.

"Bella, what would you think of dating me?" Edward blurted out.

"What? To prove that I'm not dating Jake? I'm not seeing how that will help, Edwardo." She giggled, and shook her head. Those two boys were entirely too amusing when they were this high.

"No," Edward said, regaining his typical confidence, "would you like to date me? Be my girlfriend. For real."

Bella just stared at him for a minute before nodding her head in agreement. She was shocked that he was seriously asking her this. She hadn't thought he had noticed her that way in the slightest. He never showed any signs of it, like Mike or Tyler, who tended to follow her around school.

His face broke out into a grin for a brief moment before his smile dropped and he turned to Bella again.

"You have to break up with him." He said simply, as if it made perfect sense.

"Totally, Bells." Emmett chimed in again, probably agreeing just to be involved.

"I'm not dating him, so it would probably be weird if I called to break up with him, no?" Bella was beginning to think that the boys were going insane. People don't just break up with people they're not dating. Edward and Emmett both shook their heads, and Emmett handed Edward a phone. He and Bella both looked at him in confusion.

"Bella isn't actually dating him though, she's right about that. So why don't you just call him and tell him what's up?" Edward shrugged, smiled, and took the now ringing phone from Emmett's hand. A very groggy, irritated voice came over speakerphone after two rings and everyone except Edward went silent.

"Emmett, I told you not to call me late tonight." He mumbled out and Edward chuckled.

"Hey bro, it's not Emmett."

"Oh, Edward. What do you need? And where's your cell? Why are you calling so late? Is Bells okay?" Edward cocked a questioning eyebrow towards Bella and she shrugged.

"No, all is well. The cell's dead. Hey, you and Bells aren't dating, are you?" Edward questioned with false innocence. Jake went silent for a good two minutes before sighing and answering him.

"No, we're not."

"So, we'd still be cool if-"

"Yeah, man. Whatever. I gotta go" He snapped, tension obvious in his voice. He hung up the phone without waiting for a response.

"That went well," Emmett snorted. Bella was concerned about Jake's behavior, but blew it off to worry about tomorrow. She had barely moved her gaze from her brother to Edward when he sprang on her. She didn't even have time to notice what he was doing before she was consumed with the taste of his lips on hers. He tasted like winter, cinnamon, sugar cookies, and pot. The taste was so Edward, and before she realized what she was doing she slid her tongue along his lips, begging for more. A muffled growl rose in his throat as he granted her access and attacked her mouth with his. Her hands fisted into his hair, weaving intricate knots as she crawled into the backseat with him. She lifted on leg and slowly slid it over his two, pushing herself against him, and earning another growl. She left one hand in his hair and used the other to pull the front of his shirt collar towards her, successfully closing the distance between them. He wrapped his arms around her and slowly slid his hands under her shirt, moaning at the feel of her soft skin against his hands. Bella groaned into his mouth as she felt his hands gliding along her back and sides.

"More, Edward." She ground out, in a voice huskier and demanding than either of them had heard from her before. Edward was quick to comply, maintaining their position while moving them so that he was kneeling on the seat and her back was pushed against it, legs wrapped around him. He ran hungry kisses along her jawline as his eager hands traveled across her smooth body. Bella tightened the grip her legs had on his sides when he groaned and moved away. When Bella opened her eyes, she noticed things were a lot brighter than they had been a minute ago.

"Fucking Alice." She mumbled, and then glanced around. "Where did Emmett go?"

* * *

Jacob sighed as he looked over at his sleeping wife. It had always been difficult to sleep next to her, mostly because she never shut up. Too many sleepovers were spent learning about her secret crush on the really pretty looking guy from the Backstreet Boys. He sometimes wondered why he even bothered trying to go to sleep at the same time as her.

"We're not dating, Edward."

This dream. The first time he heard it, he thought it was a welcome reprieve from the usual, but it turned out to be one of the worst. He knew what he was doing when he asked her to marry him, or at least, he thought he did. He really thought he could handle coming in second – as long as he still won in the long run. Jake knew Bella wouldn't leave him - even if she was unhappy - because she just loved him too much. It was a strong love they shared – completely trusting, comfortable, and peaceful. The perfectly compatible pair. Sure, they had arguments about trivial things, but they always made up. There was a point when there was nothing one of them couldn't tell the other. He still daydreamed about the day he was able to stand up and promise his best friend forever. He had heard some of her dreams then, and assumed they would fade with time. Instead, they became almost impossible to handle.

He sighed as he rolled out of bed a quietly walked towards the door.

"More, Edward." She mumbled.

"Fucking Alice" He mimicked the next line for her as he closed the bedroom door behind him, "Where did Emmett go?"

"In here, bro." Emmett announced in his seldom used inside voice. "What's up?" Jake followed the voice to find Emmett on the couch with a beer in his hand watching bowling on one of the sports channels.

"Shit, sorry man. Bella's dreaming again." Jake mumbled, embarrassed. Emmett just nodded his head in recognition and gave him an apologetic glance. "Wanna burn one?" Jake questioned as he walked past the couch to the patio, not even waiting on an answer. Emmett wouldn't say no with Jake in this condition. He and Jake had been good friends too. Hell, Jake knew that even Emmett thought their marriage was wrong, but he didn't bring it up with him anymore than he brought it up with Bella.

"Rose is going to kill me." Emmett groaned as he followed Jake out the doors.

"Na, you'll be fine." Jake mumbled distractedly. Emmett cast a glance in his direction, but Jake had his eyes locked on the ground. He wasn't sure he wanted to ask what he was about to ask, but couldn't stop himself doing it anyway.

"How bad is it?" He questioned quietly. Jake took in a shaky breath and sighed heavily when he released it.

"Bad." He murmured, "At it's worst. It'll never get any better, night after night it will be the same damn thing. Every morning I will wake up just as tired as the last. Every day I will have to watch my wife pretend to be happy - for me. She's not even trying for herself anymore, that sucks, man."

"I can imagine."

"No, Emm, you really can't. We all saw the two of them together - I could never compare. I'm not stupid; I know that. I just... I don't know what the hell we were thinking." He continued. Emmett was a little shocked that Jake knew all of this. But it made sense, of course he did - Bella couldn't keep secrets from anyone sleeping within ten feet of her. "She deserves to be happy, I just can't loose my best friend, Em. I fucking can't." Emmett chuckled at that and Jake was just about to question why when he spoke up.

"She's really got the mess of both of you, doesn't she? You two have an amazing marriage, I'm not going to lie, but it's all wrong. The perfect balance, but between the two of you your emotions are so fucked off that you get your own emotions confused with each others. Shit, man, sometimes I swear you're the one in love with Edward." Emmett caught himself a second too late, and only realized what he had just said when he heard Jake's sharp intake of breath beside him. "Shit, sorry. All I'm saying is that, honestly, I don't think you are any more in love with her than she is with you. You just haven't figured that out yet. Bells is amazing, and you don't suck so bad yourself, but you two were never meant to be more than friends. I mean, if it makes you feel better, he's just as fucked as you are - if not worse. He doesn't even try anymore, for anyone. It's pathetic. Just being around the mother fucker can make you miserable." Jacob thought about Emmett's words. He had never even questioned whether he was actually in love with Bella or not. Getting married had been a spur of the moment decision on both of their parts, and the more he thought about it, he realized Emmett was almost right. They were perfect together as friends, and they made a decent couple, but it was never what was best. "Bring me out here, get me high, and make me talk. You don't repeat anything I've said to Bella. I'm already going to have Rose trying to kill me in the morning." Emmett mumbled.

"Distract her," Jake chuckled as he passed to Emmett. "I've got an idea." Emmett rolled his eyes. Jacob's ideas were usually as well thought out as his own. "No, seriously. I've got two favors to ask of you, and one to ask of her, and I'll let you tell her the truth – the wives love the truth, man."

Emmett snorted, "No? Seriously?"

"Fuck off. I'm too tired for this shit right now. I need you to cover my ass for a couple days with Bells. Tell her I went down to handle some rez shit and I'll be back soon enough. Do you think Rose could manage the shop for a few days?"

"You want me to lie to my baby sister and have my wife run your business for you?"

"That's the plan." Jacob nodded along, as if everything should be making perfect sense to Emmett. "Oh, shit, almost forgot. I need to borrow your credit card too."

"What the fuck? Why?"

"So Bells doesn't see the charge for the plane ticket in our account. I'll pay you when I get back."

"What makes you think I'll do all this for you, bro? We're cool, but we're not that cool, Jake." Emmett snorted, amused by Jake's presumptions. Emmett turned to look at Jake and was shocked by what he saw. His expression was almost blank; he looked... defeated. Emmett, strictly following the guy code, didn't even acknowledge the tears threatening his eyes. "Dude, you look like shit. Where are you trying to go, anyway?" Jake raised his eyes to meet Emmett's for the first time since they'd stepped outside.

"New York."

Emmett just stared blankly at him for a minute before wordlessly nodding and walking inside. A few minutes later, a groggy Rosalie and anxious Emmett slipped out of the guest room to find Jacob still on the patio, now laying down, mumbling something about stupidity, vows, and the high prices of plane tickets.

"Here you go, man. The pants are probably a bit long but the rest should fit." Emmett said as he tossed a duffel bag at Jake. "The card is in the side pocket with a printout of your ticket. Don't worry about paying me back, if it's for my little sister we can manage."

"Here's Jazz's number, Jake. I already talked to him, just call him before you get onto the plane and he'll figure up something generic for you." Rose said as she held his gaze. They had never had problems getting along, but Rose found herself seeing him differently than ever before. This wasn't Jake, the guy who grew up with her husband, or Jacob, her brother in law. This was just a man, a broken, defeated man who would really give anything for Bella's happiness. Jake nodded once towards Rose and attempted to give her a grateful smile before turning back to Emmett.

"What time does the plane land?"

"About one in the morning. It was the only time we could get you out of here without you having to run into Bella, and we all know you suck at lying to Bella. So, you need to get there, and fast before you miss your flight."

"Do me a favor?" Jacob asked, the slight humor in his eyes finally making its appearance again.

"Anything." Rosalie and Emmett said together.

"If I don't talk to you by two, avenge me?" They both laughed quietly and promised they would before ushering Jacob out the door.

"How do you think this is going to blow over?" Rosalie asked quietly as they made their way back to the room.

"Hell if I know." Emmett shrugged, "but if he fucks it up this time, he's going to be talking to my fist."

**Reviewsies for a pretty please? They make my day. Which is currently filled with college Algebra, so I need it.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Half asleep when I wrote this. Enjoy, then review.**

"Fucking mine, say it." He demanded as he pushed her against the wall outside of his dorm. She removed her lips from his neck long enough to gasp out his request as his hands slid underneath her shirt to the tip of her jeans. "Again." He growled.

"Yours," She moaned, "Always yours." Edward drove his tongue into her mouth, savoring the flavor he had been missing too long. Their tongues were fighting for dominance and hands were roaming over unexplored places. She stretched a shaky hand towards the button on his jeans before trailing nips up his neck and smothering his jaw with her warm lips and moist tongue. "Yours,"she gasped again as he smoothly tore the button clean off her jeans. This wasn't what he had planned, this wasn't what they – he – had waited for. This wasn't romantic, sensual, or loving. This was rough, thoughtless, mindless exhilaration. But damnit, it was exactly what he needed.

* * *

[Beep][Beep]

Edward hit snooze and regretfully rolled out of bed. He strolled lazily towards the couch, stopping to get six pack on his way. _Two hours down, four to go._ He thought to himself. He had a pretty well established routine. He slept in two hour increments, running daily with only four hours of sleep. It worked for him. He was much more amicable with sleep deprivation than he was after an entire night with her. He had tried his damnedest to let go of everything to do with her. He took down all of the pictures, he quit listening to or playing his music, he even cut back on his time around Alice and conversations with Emmett. But it wouldn't stop. _It's been almost three fucking years you pathetic asshole. She's married. _He shook his head and flopped onto the couch, opening his first two beers and turning on the sports channel. _Bowling, go fucking figure._

He let himself get lost in the show, drinking and smoking as was his usual midnight routine and he focused as much as possible on the television screen. One slip would be all it took for someone to get fired tomorrow. He was on the verge of making that slip when the doorbell rang and knocked him out of his musings. _Who the fuck?_ He stood up, stalked towards the door, and, not concerned with his lack of clothing or the joint in his hand, swung it wide open. The moment he did the joint fell straight out of his hand onto the carpet. He probably would have slammed the door shut if his guest hadn't been standing in his doorway, soaking wet, with a tear streaked face.

Jacob gave him a nod before strolling into his apartment and retrieving the fallen pot. He walked over to the couch and sat down casting one more glance towards Edward, who still stood dumbfounded at his presence. "Hey, bro," he said in a casual, dead voice, "mind throwing some shorts on. I'm having enough issues here without that image running through my head." Edward glanced down before wordlessly walking into his room and throwing pants on. He was, to say the least, stunned. When he first opened the door he immediately thought something was wrong with Bella, before he realized that Jacob wouldn't have left Bella to fly to NY and tell him if that were the case. _Unless Bella asked him to, that fucker would do anything Bella asked him to._

When he walked back into the living room, Jacob was talking on the phone. He heard Edward come back in the room and mouthed 'fax' at him while lifting an eyebrow. Edward pointed towards the small office set-up in the corner. Jacob stood up and walked over there to ramble off the number taped on the machine to whoever was on the other line. When the call ended, Jacob stood wordlessly by the machine – apparently waiting on something. Edward considered questioning the whole ordeal, but before he had the chance, Jacob's fax came through. He grabbed a pen from the desk, scribbled something on the papers, and turned to Edward.

"Bella called one of those penthouse meetings." He said, looking directly at Edward. When Emmett was ten, he had decided to build Bella a tree house. However, since it was Bella - his personal princess, he said - it couldn't be just any tree house. So, Emmett and Charlie slaved away over the course of a weekend, designing and building what they called a 'penthouse in the trees.' After Edward and Alice moved to Forks, that penthouse became like a sanctuary for the four of them. Anytime there was something important to discuss, that they couldn't risk parents or friends overhearing, they disappeared for hours (or overnight) deep into the backyard. "I don't know why she thinks I don't realize when she doesn't," He chuckled, shaking his head, "You guys have used the same damn discreet signal since high school." His smile held for a few minutes before he remembered why he was there. Edward just continued to stare at him in silence, not knowing exactly what to say. He was still trying to figure out why Jake was in New York, telling him about it. It wasn't like either or he or Alice had shown up to any of them in years. Alice couldn't because of work, but he didn't out of simple self-preservation. Jacob watched Edward for a moment before letting out a shaky breath and continuing. "It's you, bro. Always has been. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking." Edward continued to stare at Jacob as he spoke, completely oblivious and still trying to figure out exactly why the fuck his ex's husband was in his living room at 2:00 A.M. "You have one week. One week to fix whatever the fuck you did to make her agree to marry me." He said as he handed Edward the fax and an envelope. "Rose's brother will vouch that I signed that." He nodded towards the papers. Edward continued to just stare at him.

"Shit, you really aren't making this any easier." He continued as he nervously scratched the back of his neck. "Look, she doesn't know that I'm here. I just... I just need her to be happy, you know?"

"Of course I know," Edward said has he found his voice for the first time since Jacob arrived. "Why the fuck do you think I stood back when you two got married. I understand that, damnit. I don't understand why the fuck you're in New York, at two in the morning, in my apartment."

"Fuck is it two already?"

"Yeah. What does that matter?"

"I need to get in touch with Emmett," He mumbled distractedly.

"She isn't happy?" Edward questioned, letting a slight amount of hope into his voice.

"Fuck, no. What do you think I've been trying to tell you. She tries, she really does, but it's all for show. All for me, I guess. You know how she gets, thinks the world is her responsibility and what not. I'd still be perfectly oblivious if it weren't for the fucking sleep talking. So, whatever you did, just fucking fix it. Make her happy, okay? And fucking, for Christ's sake, don't blow it this time. Get your ass to Seattle, I'm going to Alice's. Hopefully, even after all of this bullshit, she could loan me a sofa for a day or two. I fucking surrender, Edward. But I swear to God that if you hurt her again, you won't live to regret it." Jake had fresh tears streaming down his face. He was rambling because it was difficult, but he also knew Bella deserved this. She deserved happiness."And Edward?" He mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"I can't loose my best friend, bro. I know shit's complicated but she's all I have. Please, just don't let this ruin our friendship. I need her. I want her to be happy, fuck, that's why I'm here. But I can't lose her." He gave a desperate glance towards Edward. Edward nodded once towards Jake, making a silent agreement to not interfere with their friendship. Jake allowed himself to hope that Edward would keep his word, and nodded back. He quickly excused himself and left Edward standing in a fresh shock as the entire conversation finally absorbed. Jacob was giving him a chance. He looked down at the envelope in his hand and tried to shake out whatever was in it. It wasn't until a note card fell to the floor and Jacob's wedding band fell onto the papers that he realized what they were.

Divorce papers, with his signature and not hers.

* * *

Jacob strolled up to Alice's apartment, too tired to even be nervous, and casually knocked on the door. He seemed to be making a habit of visiting people tonight that he'd been avoiding for years, and was considering hopping on a flight to go see Rachel, when a disaster of an Alice fumbled the door open and peeked through the crack. She quickly unlocked the door and let him in, motioning to the bathroom so he could dry off. He dried and changed quickly before walking back into the living room, letting out an exhausted sigh before falling onto the couch.

"What's wrong, Jake?" Alice asked with nothing but concern in her voice. She may not have agreed with Jake in a while, but she still cared for him as a friend. She eyed him carefully. He was a wreck - his hair was matted against his face, his eyes and nose were swollen, and his eyelids were drooping in exhaustion. He was wearing Emmett's clothes as well, a set that Alice had given him. When she focused in on his face, he met her gaze and the anxiety he had been lacking at the door made a sudden reappearance.

"Can I crash here for a day, or a week, or whatever? I'll take the floor if I have to." He asked while glancing around the rest of the apartment.

"Sure," Alice answered, a little uneasily, "but can I ask why?"

"Um, yeah. First, can I use your phone to call Emmett? My cell's dead." He asked. Alice nodded and handed him the phone. He paced anxiously back and forth after he dialed, waiting on Em to answer.

"Hello? Ali?" An entirely too awake Emmett answered the phone.

"Er, no. Jake. Phone died, sorry, no vengeance necessary."

"Good. How did everything go, Rose and I have been sitting here waiting for you to call, man."

"It went... as well as to be expected. I think I'm going to stay with Alice for a couple days - well, at Alice's. No guarantee she's going to stick around." He and Emmett both chuckled at his attempt at humor. Alice would probably take of the scene of action as soon as she heard what was going on. "Jazz came through. Honestly, he has everything."

"Everything? You did not give Edward divorce papers to deliver to my sister." Emmett laughed.

"Well, when you put it like that," Jake paused, "Na, she won't care. She might, but she'll get over it. She's Bells. Besides, he'll need proof."

"Yeah," Emmett agreed. "Well, hey I'll give you a call tomorrow okay?" Jacob agreed and disconnected the call. He turned to find Alice very confused, and very awake, standing with her hands on her hips.

"What the hell did you do, Jacob Black?" She demanded. If he did something to hurt Bella, she was going to destroy him.

"Talked to Edward," He stated. She lifted an eyebrow and glared in annoyance at him. He knew better than to give her a half ass answer. "Alice, it's the big fucking purple elephant in the room. Everyone knows it's fucking there and nobody wants to talk about it." Alice continued to stare at him, there were a number of purple elephants in their group. All she knew at this point was that Em and Rose knew, Edward knew, most likely Bella didn't, and neither did she. That pissed her off - Alice hated being the last one to know things.

"What did you talk to Edward about?" She questioned, knowing she would have to work the information out of him. If she was his last stop, then he was probably sick of retelling the story already. "Is Bella okay?"

"Bella," He shrugged, "And she's fine."

So, Jacob went to talk to Edward about Bella? That didn't make any sense to her. Alice wondered if he had any clue what Edward was probably going through. He hadn't been able to get over the shit for three years already, and she doubted a sudden visit from Jake would help matters.

"Jacob, where is my brother and what have you done to him." She was glaring at him full force now. Jacob returned her glare with his response.

"I said, I fucking talked to him. Right now he'd better be on his way to Seattle to attempt to win over my wife. At least, that's what I told him to do. Fuck, I don't know. He's got a week. They'll get no fight from me - we came to a slight understanding on the subject. So, I will probably be here for a week, if that's okay. Although I get the feeling you're about to take off on me too aren't you?" Alice desperately wanted to fly out to Seattle right next to Edward, but looking at Jake's desperate face, she had a feeling he was who needed her most at the moment.

"No, Jake. I'm going stay here - at least for another day or two. So, what do you say? There's nothing that a Rocky Marathon and some of my famous home-microwaved chicken soup can't fix, right?"

"That's true, Ali, but don't be surprise if I fall asleep on you. I haven't been able to sleep yet. "

"Oh, sweet St. Marcus, Jacob, quit being a pansy and let's watch some man movies."

* * *

**I'll give you my hubby for some reviews.**


	5. Chapter 5

**So, here's an update. Whoo! Probably another coming tomorrow, but I've got an Algebra test, an English assignment, a midterm to study for, and a French class. But, hopefully. **

**Also, FYI - this is my first update from my first Mac. Yay me...**

* * *

Emmett and Rose had been laying in bed, talking quietly amongst themselves, for hours since Jake had left. Neither had been able to get back to sleep - they were both to busy worrying over the situation at hand. Around one thirty, a quiet knock on their door took them from their conversation. Emmett tensed slightly before Rose elbowed him to remind him not to give anything away to Bella. She was entirely too perceptive - even this early in the morning - and Emmett didn't lie much better than Jake.

"Come in," Rose called softly, ready to lie for the both of them. Bella walked in with dark circles under her eyes and a bottle of tequila in hand.

"Where's my roomie?" She questioned, not appearing to actually care for the answer.

"Tribe stuff or something like that," Rose shrugged. Bella rolled her eyes and turned her face towards her brother.

"Can you cut me up some limes?" She questioned. Emmett nodded and crawled out of bed, allowing Bella to plop down where he had been and cuddle up with Rose. Rose wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in closer.

"One of those nights again?"

"Yeah, will this ever end? I mean... I _am_ happy. So, I don't understand, Rose, why can't I let it go? Jake is absolutely wonderful to me. It's no secret that Edward wasn't. So, why do I dream every damn night about him?" Bella took a shot - approximately - straight from the bottle, not waiting on Emmett to return with her limes. "Fucking shit. I need music." She announced before she stood up and danced - ungracefully - out to the living room. She hooked up her iPod once again and went to work setting it on her penthouse playlist. Her music was her sacred ground. Everyone around her knew to back off, especially Jake. He wasn't so much as allowed to pick a playlist - if she ever needed one ounce of privacy, it was on that tiny electronic square. She had almost as many playlists as she did songs, one for every occasion. She even had a Bartleby playlist. Regardless, she still provided a slight amount of discretion, labeling the mix 'penthouse' in case Jake ever sneaked a peak. It wasn't inaccurate - Edward had been the sole topic of conversation at the penthouse for the past three years.

Emmett finally handed her the limes and the three of them sat on the couch, Bella curled up in the middle of them mumbling the lyrics under her breath. Emmett and Rose looked at each other, neither knowing what to say.

"Fix it, bubba." Bella whined, looking up at him through watery eyes.

"How do I do that Bells?"

"You're supposed to know." She stated, putting on her stubborn face. Emmett was her older brother, and Edward's best friend, he should know what to do. She handed him the bottle in hopes that his liquid knowledge would prove better than his stoned knowledge. How the hell he was pulling it off in front of Rose, she didn't know. He had clearly been smoking, and hadn't even bothered to attempt to get rid of the scent, but Rose was as peaceful as ever.

"Let's go to New York." He said as he shrugged his shoulders. It was the only obvious solution, and had Bella listened to him during the first episode of late night Bella drama, everything would have been fixed two weeks after she came home.

"I can't, and you know that. I've put Jake through too much shit over him - still do. I promised him forever, you know. I think i should put more than two years into that vow. We haven't even reached in sickness yet, most definitely not for richer! How do I fix this without hurting him? Without hurting myself?"

"It's not that easy, sis." He chuckled, earning a glare from both girls. "Hey, remember the time that Lucky came home? Night wouldn't quit irritating her, teasing her for hours on end. Lucky wasn't all that innocent, either, remember?" Bella nodded as a nostalgic smile appeared on her face. "So, the only solution was to -"

"Keep them separated." Bella finished for him with a chuckle of her own. "Somehow, I doubt I can 'keep them both if I can keep them from fighting." She added, laughing a little louder.

"Exactly. We aren't five anymore, Bells. You can't keep them both - not even in your head. You're hurting Jake just as much when you mumble Edward's name throughout the night, all night long. You're hurting yourself by sitting around wasting time, when you could be where you should be. Everyone gets hurt, no matter what. That's just part of being a grown-up, baby sis. It's extremely cool of you to be concerned with Jake's feelings, that's love right there. You just can't rule your life by that anymore, you can't make your decisions by a promise you made to your best friend when you were seven. Jake knew what he was getting into, I would be surprised if he wasn't expecting it."

"Em, it's been three years. Even if I could put Jake through that - again, which I can't, he wouldn't want anything to do with me. I mean, I went off and did the worst possible thing I could have for there to be any hope left. Besides, we just didn't work together. Everyone knows that, why is anyone refusing to acknowledge it." Bella ranted on, having already consumed about six shots. Just then, Emmett's phone began ringing. He glanced down at the caller ID before looking back up at Bella.

"Speak of the devil..." He said as he shook his head and stood up. "I'm going to take this on the patio - can I get a smoke from you?" Bella nodded and threw him her pack. He stepped outside and answered the phone, lighting a cigarette before greeting Edward.

"Emmett's house of tequila therapy, you're our third client today. Just for being such a valued customer, we're offering you a one time promotional offer of why the hell aren't you on a plane yet."

"Third?" Edward questioned, unfazed by Emmett's typical jovial manner of addressing any situation.

"Well, yes. Due to doctor-patient confidentiality, I can't tell you who the clients are, of course. I can tell you that I haven't slept yet because I had to get high with the first client, before slipping him off on a plane behind his wife's back to go visit his arch-nemesis - a.k.a the love of her life. It involved loaning out half of my clothes, my credit card, and my wife, but it's cool. Client number two, currently in session with my partner due to this very telephone call, woke up not too long after and knocked on our door. She's suffering from recurring dreams, loss of sleep, and a friendly devotion to a guy she isn't in love with. We just administered dose number seven of the tequila treatment, and it only seems to be making matters worse. Apparently, side effects of the treatment can be the overdrive of original symptoms, as well."

"Emmett, have you administered yourself any doses?" He questioned, slightly amused at Emmett's behavior but trying hard to not forget why he was angry with him.

"Maybe.." Emmett drawled out.

"Right, well in answer to your question - I'm packing. The first flight out leaves in an hour and I have no idea what I'm going to do when I get there. Oh, also, I'm going to kick your ass." He rambled off, running his fingers through his hair like he usually did when he was either frustrated or nervous.

"Can I ask why I'm getting my ass kicked?" Em questioned, although he had a good idea of the reason.

"You lied to me." Edward stated, and Emmett nodded along as if Edward could see him. It was exactly what Emmett had guessed. "Why did you tell me she was happy if she isn't?" Edward questioned, all amusement gone. Emmett usually visited Edward every couple months, and almost all of their conversations could be explained by Bella's name. Edward made it a point to check on her through Emmett, ensuring that she was okay and happy. It was torturing himself, but he thought it would be more difficult not to know. It wasn't like he could get rid of her, anyway.

"Because I offer to take her to NY every time we have these conversations and she says no. She doesn't want to hurt Jake, she's terrified of being hurt, and she's justifying left and right. If I had told you, honestly, what would you have done? You would have came down here, got rejected, and got your face punched in - whether by Bella or Jake. You fucked up pretty bad, man, I'm not going to lie. You fuck up again and I'm going to beat you into the ground. I'm talking, you better pull some fucking casanova shit around here, understand?"

"Yeah, man. Um, think you could figure out a place for me to stay when my flight comes in? And possibly pick me up?"

"Yeah, why the fuck not? I'm lying to my sister left and right today, sure. I'll see if I can get Jazz to pick you up and maybe you can crash with him."

"Jazz?"

"Rose's brother. I'll give him a call and I'll text you when I know. If I don't get through before you board, just know one way or another I'll get it figured out and check your texts when you land."

"Thanks, bro." Edward said, right before Emmett heard a loud crash in the background. "Fuck, I'm so fucking nervous." Edward said through a shaky breath. "I'm going to finish getting ready, New York at this time of night is not fun to navigate."

"Alright, be careful."

The guys ended their conversation, and Emmett sent Jazz a text before returning inside to find Rosalie looking highly amused and Bella in front of her, singing karaoke into a toothbrush. Very, very angry karaoke.

"I'm betting she breaks out the country after this song." Emmett whispered as he took a seat beside Rosalie. She nodded her head in agreement and they continued to watch Bella.

Eventually, she gave up on her musical venting and sat down in Emmett's lap. She just lay there for quite a few minutes, evening out her breathing and inhaling a couple more shots of tequila.

"Is it wrong that I'm thankful he's gone tonight? Cause, damn, this tequila is helping so much better than late night cereal ever has." The couple shook their heads and she cast an angelic smile towards them, before frowning about something. "I messed up so bad, guys. Even if I could run off tonight and find him, he wouldn't want me. If he did, it would probably be the same old shit... All because of me. Because I fucked up."

"I doubt that." Rose spoke up. "He'd fall in love with you all over again, Bells. I mean, if he had ever stopped, which he hasn't."

"Seriously, sis." Emmett went on, as he took his place in the conversation. "All we talk about is you anymore. I'm not going to lie, he was hurt. He's always been a little insecure, but to actually find out that you did that? That damn near killed him. But it was both of you who decided not call things off, not just you and not just him."

"I never thought he would come back to me." Bella whispered.

"I know. He just never got that. He couldn't understand how you doubted him. I'm willing to bet, after three years of being without you, he probably learned his lesson."

"How is he?" She asked. Bella had never been brave enough to ask about it before, she didn't need to learn how she had effectively ruined someone else's life. Tonight, though, she had to know.

"Not well." Rose said.

"That's bullshit." Emmett spoke up, apparently gaining enough courage from Jose to take a stand against his wife. "He's fucked, royally. All he ever does is get high, drink beer, and stumble into work. He barely sleeps, he never goes out, and hits the punching bag at least once a day." Emmett carried on. Bella let a sob out at the description, it was the worst she had imagined. She had thought he would have moved on, went back to his usual cocky, self-absorbed self - the Edward he had become during their relationship. The though of the muscle that was bound to have developed from the increased workout time sent her head spinning even further. She wanted him to be okay. She didn't want him to mess up his life any more than the two of them had.

"I want to talk to him. Em, can I borrow your phone?" She demanded, holding out her hand to indicate that she wasn't technically asking. Emmett's eyes went wide and he began shaking his head furiously.

"Why?" Bella demanded, her voice firmer than before.

"Ask when you're sober."

"I won't have the balls to when I'm sober." Bella stated, proving she was already aware of the point he was trying to make.

"If you don't have the balls to do it sober, then you're not ready to do it at all."

"Fuck you," Bella spat out, "You're supposed to be my brother. Fuck this, I'm going to stay at Jazz's." She said, grabbing her iPod and smokes before storming out the front door. Jazz lived in the same building as they did, a few floors down. He had took a job as a lawyer in a firm in Seattle straight out of law school and he'd been in the same one bedroom apartment since, and had no intention of moving unless it was to a larger one in the same building. Still, he had no intention of doing that either until he found himself the perfect woman.

"Fuck," Emmett said, "She just refuses to make this simple. I've got to work in five hours, babe, can you please call Jazz and tell him I will pick up Edward in his car & somehow we'll get him there after Bella leaves?"

Rose agreed and kissed Emmett goodnight and called her brother, hoping to get ahold of him before Bella did. She had a job to do the next day as well, but had no intention of pointing it out to Emmett. He would send her to bed and wait up himself, and she needed him to do well with his new job. Of course, before he reached the bedroom, she heard his cell start ringing again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ugh. I wanted to write more, but French class is preventing it. I am having a just God-awful day so I will probably write more later tonight. Today sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks. In case you were wondering, the weekend sucked sucked sucked sucked. I'm highly emotional, which should make for a kick-a chapter when I write the next one later. **

**Anyways, please review. Seriously, they make me smile & will possibly save me the price of a bottle of goldschlagger or cuervo. **

**Ch goes out to twilam, for being so damn awesome it isn't even funny, and because I will totally not have time to respond to those PM's until later. I would love for you all to go read the new story - i promised I would but my disaster of a life is not allowing it yet, and when I have time I'm so damn frustrated that all I wanna do is write. So, read twilam's story and review on my behalf. and review me. cause you'll save me money. sorry for the potty mouth and complete lack of grammar skills in this a/n.**

**Just to prove my point, I totally typed all of this before class & just now realized (ummm about 3hrs later) that I didn't actually post it, just uploaded it. Whoops. Enjoy.**

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Bella sighed as she looked around her office when she walked in. Another lovely day at the office. Bartleby was running late, as usual, and Mike was out sick. There was already a stack of papers for her to review sitting in her inbox when she had checked it, and she was slightly scared to even open her email inbox. Bella went to sit down at her desk and power up her computer, but froze when she reached down and found a small box instead of her power button. She carefully pulled it up and looked suspiciously at the package. It was obviously a CD case wrapped with simple, shiny, black paper. There wasn't a tag on it, but instead it had a post it note stuck on top - one of her post-it notes.

_Open Last_

It was unmistakably Emmett's handwriting, although Emmett wasn't the type to sneak into her office overnight. _Well, he hasn't had the opportunity before, maybe it is something Emmett would usually do._ She thought. She decided to ask Rose if it was typical Emmett behavior later. Glancing around she tried to find whatever she was supposed to open first, and saw nothing. Assuming he was making a completely overdramatic Emmett move in order to make up for last night, she set the case aside and went to work without opening it until she stumbled across whatever she was supposed to open first.

A few hours into her busy day, she allowed herself a small break to smoke and call Alice back. She opened her balcony doors - a private balcony she shared with Angela and Mike - and walked outside, smiling at the typical Fall weather. She went to take a seat, but stood back up immediately when she felt something underneath her. Looking down, she saw a pack of cigarettes sitting in her chair with another post-it on them.

_I'm sorry for this. _

_-E_

_We're not at the end yet, no cheating. _

She laughed at the note. Of course, she wasn't sure what he was sorry for - other than having a pack of smokes poke in her in the butt. Emmett never encouraged that bad habit, that was all Edward, and Emmett had taken it up after her. She shook her head and picked up the pack. Sitting down, she dialed Alice's number only to reach voicemail. Usually, Alice would jump up and answer the phone when Bella called - especially if they had arranged the phone call. She hung up the phone and made a reminder to try her back on lunch.

It was another hour later when a knock on her office door pulled her out of her work. Upon answering the door, she was greeted with an extremely oversized bouquet of a variety of flowers. There was no one in sight around the flowers, but a post-it covered the tag. She reminded herself to make Emmett return her notepad when she got home.

"Wow, what the hell did he do now?" Angela said, showing her face for the first time that morning. "I've never seen him send on that big before." She laughed while looking at Bella.

"Actually, they're from Emmett." Bella said as she laughed along, "We had a small argument last night but I didn't think it was anything to warrant this." She said, gesturing towards the flowers. Angela lifted an eyebrow and gave her a skeptical glare.

"I don't know any brothers who send flowers like that." She said.

"Yeah, well, Emmett's a drama queen." Bella joked. Angela nodded her head in agreement and turned to head back to her office. Bella reached down to pick up the flowers and headed back to the desk. She rotated the flowers around to bring the note to eye level, curious if the game was over yet. It was getting to be a bit much for a small tequila induced argument. She carefully held the vase as she read the note.

_I couldn't pick just one color because I'm sorry for everything. _

_-E_

_We're not done yet, Juliet._

Bella froze as she reread the note again, double checking on what she thought she saw. This time, the note wasn't in Emmett's handwriting, but another that she would recognize just as easily. She didn't even register the vase crashing to the ground as she turned to walk towards her bookcase. _Not a chance in hell..._She thought as she reached up to the shelf that held the small personal collection she kept at work. Sure enough, a new book was laying on it's side in front of the rest. Pulling it down, she examined the exterior of the hardback for any note, but found none. She was so absorbed that she didn't even notice Angela slipping in to check on her. She opened the book to find the note she had expected on the exterior.

_I could never explain how sorry I am for ruining this. _

_-E_

_Just a few more. _

Bella felt her heartrate increase and her breathing turned maniacal. She clutched her chest trying unsuccessfully to stabilize herself. _Why now? He's already everywhere, in every thing I do, every thing I see, every breath I breathe. Why does it have to get even harder? Is it too much to ask for one day? One day when I could be completely oblivious to what could have been. One day where every song I heard didn't make me think of him. One day when I didn't see him in someone every where I went. What the fuck. Just, what does he even want? Where the hell am I supposed to go from here? Three years later, I'm married, what is there for me to do? How am I supposed to deal with this? How can I wake up every day and pretend is okay when I know I will never love my husband the way I love him? How can I fake my way through life? What if I didn't, then what? Things go back to the way they where before? If I could feel the way about Jake that I do about him, or have the relationship I have with Jake with him.... Why? Why can't I have one day? _Bella continued with her internal monologue until she literally felt sick from the frustration and anxiety. Her hands were shaking, her head was spinning, and she had yet to notice Angela in her office. Without thinking, she grabbed the phone to call Rose and have her meet her at a local restaurant. Rose said she could meet her in thirty minutes and Bella began gathering her things - she wasn't sure if she would be returning to work that day. Angela cleared her throat, and Bella turned around to find her concerned friend looking back at her curiously.

"Um, I may need a mental health day. Or at least a mental health lunch. I don't know yet, fuck. Can you cover for me? Just... you don't know that I may be leaving.. I'll blame food poisoning or something." Bella rambled out, and Angela shook her hand.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not now. Thanks, Ang." Bella muttered as she rushed out of the office leaving a confused Angela standing in her doorway.

Not even ten minutes later, she arrived and got a table for her and Rose. After ordering three shots of goldschlagger, she gave an icy glare to the waiter who dared question her lunchtime choice. About the time the second set of three showed up, so did Rose.

"Whoa, slow down hon. What's wrong." Rosalie asked, having a fairly certain idea.

"Don't play innocent, Rose. Seriously."

"Um, what? Start from the beginning, Bells. Then we'll talk about whatever I'm guilty of."

"There were notes in my office." Bella was surprised that Rosalie looked surprised. Rose motioned for her to continue. Bella pulled out the the notes and handed them to Rose in order as she listed off the gifts. Rose looked at her in shock as she absorbed the conversation. This was a completely Edward way to do things but one of the guys could have let her know what she would be dealing with here. Hell, Jazz probably even knew. Rose reached in her purse and pulled out the box that had been sitting in her car this morning.

"I guess that explains this," She said as she handed it over. Bella quickly unwrapped it and pulled the note off the box.

_I'm sorry I never let you keep these. I'm sorry that I ever said no to anything you wanted. Give me one day? One day to tell you how sorry I am, and how much I want to make it up to you. One day to see you, hear your voice, watch you smile. I know I don't deserve it, but please, give me one day. This is the last gift you'll get from me today._

Bella opened the box to find an album laying inside. She didn't dare to open it right then, she had a good idea what would be inside and she already had tears streaming.

"Where did you get this?"

"Well..." Rose continued, not exactly sure what she should say.

"Whatever you know, spill it." Bella demanded.

"All I know is that he's in town for a few days, and Emmett picked him up this morning. He's staying with Jazz." Rosalie knew she was lying, but she also knew that Bella needed to hear most of the information from Edward or Jake, not her. She also knew that Edward needed to hurry up and actually speak to her and not waste time.

"Give him a message for me?" Bella said, and Rose nodded. "To meet me here at seven." Rose agreed and Bella order a couple more shots before heading out to walk home. She stopped at a liquor store to grab just enough of anything to get through what she was about to torment herself with.


	7. 7 makes an M

**This chapter changes the story from T to M. In fact, that's probably the sole purpose of this chapter. It's a whole lotta sexin, and very few words. So, skip it if it makes you comfortable, or read it if you enjoy being uncomfortable. **

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**Nothing really out there or anything, and I've never written anything like this before, but my day & my mood called for it. So, yeah. This is awkward.....**

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**And - you've been warned**

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Bella stumbled across her room, trying to determine what to wear. She had two separate piles - maybe and hell no. So far, maybe only had two shirts in it and hell no had the rest. She stepped in front of the mirror and ran a brush through her hair. Looking at her appearance, she laughed at her worn out Forks High gym shorts and sports bra. This was typical loungewear for Bella, and other than her work clothes and literally two party dresses, all she ever wore. She gave herself a goofy smile and shrugged her shoulders. _Fuck it. He wants Bella? Bella's what he gets._ She threw a zippered hoodie over her top, without zipping it, and giggled to herself before grabbing a few necessary items and marching out the door. Rose and Emmett had gone out for the evening, so nobody was home to stop her. She danced along the halls towards the stairways and, however unlikely, managed to make it downstairs unscathed. It took minutes to get from her apartments to Jazz's and she soon found herself knocking on Jazz's door. Jazz opened it, very shocked to see Bella standing there. He'd assumed she would be avoiding him like crazy until at least the evening was over - at least to minimize the chance of running into Edward. But, there she stood - wearing her movie night clothes and holding a tote bag and bottle of Jose Cuervo. He shifted his weight nervously, he didn't have to deal with this Bella very often. Usually he was on the defense line with her, not part of the offending team.

"Uh, hey Bells. I met Edward." He said, so quietly she barely heard him. She could tell he was attempting humor and worried about the outcome of his comment. She beamed up at him with her best drunken smile and handed him something out of her bag. Jazz looked down to see Bella's remote control resting in his hand. He lifted his head back up and knotted his brows together in confusion.

"I know, and that's wonderful for you. Now, leave. Pay-per-view is on me tonight. There's beer in the fridge and I'll have a pizza sent up." She said to him, still beaming. It wasn't a typical happy Bella smile though, this one was actually a little scary. He thought about asking her what was going on in that pretty little head of hers, but decided against it. Instead, he simply nodded and walked out the door - leaving it open for Bella. She strolled in and kicked her shoes off, throwing her jacket on the coatrack. She laid down on Jazz's sofa and turned her music up - waiting on Edward to finish getting ready. Occasionally in between songs, she would make herself a shot, but she was beginning to calm down with it.

Edward walked out, still buttoning the last few buttons on his shirt. He froze in his tracks when he took in the sight on the couch. Bella was laying down, with her hair was fanned out around her, a couple inches longer than when he last saw it - and it appeared a few shades darker as well. Her eyes were closed as she moved her lips along to the music. Her face was covered in a faint blush and a silly grin, the same one she usually wore when she had been drinking. He knew if she were drunk, the conversation would not go as well as he had hoped but he was stuck in place, regardless. He stood in silence for several moments, transfixed by the movement of her lips and the seduction in her whispers as she went along with the music. When he was finally able to tear his gaze away from her mouth, he allowed his eyes to travel along the rest of her. She was definitely drunk, he was positive about that now, because sober Bella would have never shown up looking like that. It was the worst possible thing she could have worn; it was so innocent and absolutely sinful at the same time. As soon as he caught a glimpse at the amount of exposed skin, he felt a familiar ache stirring inside of him. This was different than the dreams, this was worse. Nothing could compare to being so damn close to Bella, not even his own imagination of her. She had her legs propped up on the armrest, uncrossed and slightly separated, and was sliding her bare stomach around on the couch in a slow, dramatic movement. He knew Bella well enough to know that she would have ceased her torture if she had actually realized he was there, but he found himself lost in the sheer emotions flooding through him. He continued watching, disregarding the ache growing inside his pants as long as he could. She was so amazingly beautiful, so perfectly made, so fucking sexy it drove him insane. He knew that of all things, this evening wouldn't - couldn't - lead to sex. They had way bigger problems to handle before he had any chance of reprieve. Bella sighed contentedly as her hands fell to rest on her hips, but never broke her movements. _You've got to be fucking kidding me_. He thought as he continued to watch her mindless seduction. Her whispers stopped as she paused moisten her lips with her tongue. Without realizing it, Edward let out a loud groan as he threw his head back. _Fuck if I'll be able to make it through the night if she keeps this up._ He slowly lowered his chin and returned his gaze towards her, but instead of closed eyes and a peaceful smile, he found Bella looking back at him, amusement in her eyes.

All amusement fell from Bella's face as she absorbed him. He was wearing black slacks, with a classic button down so dark that it made an irresistible contrast with his perfectly pale skin. It a complete difference from the t-shirts and jeans she remembered him in, and if she were honest with herself, she wanted nothing more than to rip every shred of the ensemble off his body. She felt herself take a sharp breath when her eyes met his for the first time. She was consumed with overwhelming emotions as memories rushed back to her. These weren't the same memories as usual, though. These were memories of being pushed against walls, squeezing into a backseat, dark corners in the student lounge, tables on the third floor of the library, and various dorm rooms. Edward's hooded eyes and lustful gaze staring back at her weren't helping at all, and before she realized it, a whispered, "Fuck," fell out of her mouth. Although she realized her slip, Bella couldn't find it in herself to care as she stood up to cross the room. Edward's eyes followed her every movement, every step that hit the ground, every sway of her hips, and every shaky breath that came through those fucking irresistible lips. She approached him slowly, almost as if she were trying to stop herself from getting too close, but it wasn't long before she stood less than a foot in front of him. He finally allowed himself to take a breath for the first time since she'd stood up.

"Hey," He whispered as he struggled to stabilize his voice. Bella didn't respond but just continued to stare at him. If he hadn't been so consumed with every miniscule movement she made, he might have missed the split second in which the lust in her stare turned into a raw hunger. Before either of them knew what was happening, she pushed him up against the wall and covered his lips with her own. Both calmed slightly at the contact, savoring the taste of each other, but the moment didn't last long before Edward swept his tongue against her lower lip, wanting more. She complied quickly and wound her arms around him as she lost herself in the feel of his tongue pressed against hers. He followed her movements and wrapped his arms around her, stopping to cup the inside of her upper thighs and lift her up. She gasped as he spun her around and pushed her into the wall, forcing her legs to tighten around his waist. He took the opportunity to break the kiss and move his motions to her neck. He trailed bites and suckled his way up to the tiny spot behind her ear, earning him a moan in the process. The sound of her voice alone causing him to harden more than he thought possible. He pushed himself into her, showing her exactly what she was doing to him. He let out a shaky groan into her ear, and as a small breath traveled down her neck Bella lost the last little control she'd been able to maintain.

"Fuck, Edward." She breathed before returning her lips to his own. She slid her hands up the back of his shirt and whimpered into his mouth at the feel of the muscle underneath. She broke the kiss and slipped her tongue out to taste a certain part of his neck that she knew would drive him crazy. He allowed his head to fall back against the wall as the sensations overcame him. His breathing grew ragged and short as he struggled to maintain some sensibility about the situation.

"Bella baby," He choked out, unable to strengthen his words. All he heard in response was another whimper as the attack on his neck and jaw continued. "We can't do-" His words fell short as he felt her reach her hand down and struggle with the closure of his slacks. He took another sharp breath as he struggled to remember what he needed to say. "Not like this," He mumbled, not even trying to hear his own words as he moved his hands up and lifted her top over her head. She had barely managed to loosen his pants enough for them to fall when he pulled her down from the wall, and without separating their bodies an inch, lowered her onto the carpet in the hallway. She struggled to use her legs to remove his pants the rest of the way, thankful to find he still wore nothing under them. He lowered his face to hers and gazed into her eyes, amazed by the fire he saw burning in them. He moved his body lower and flicked his tongue over her firm, pink points before taking it into his mouth and caressing it with his tongue. He was savoring the taste of her flesh as much as he was the response it was evoking from her. He could practically feel her warmth surrounding him, he could almost feel the moisture building below. Without an ounce of self control left, he slid his hand upwards into her shorts and roughly thrust a finger into the her dripping center. "Fuck, Bella, you're so wet." He groaned as she slid her own hand down to grab him.

"Only you, Edward," She moaned, "only you could do this to me." She struggled to announce, and it was nothing short of the truth. He slipped another finger into her, raised his thumb to tease her in just the right place, and a strangled "Damnit," fell from her lips.

Edward removed his hand from her shorts, and silenced Bella's whimpering with a kiss as he reached to slide her shorts down her legs. Bella furiously returned the kiss without losing her hold on him, until he lowered his head down to where his hand had been. He licked and suckled, drawing in every ounce of her he could. He couldn't get enough of her taste, body, or voice as she wriggled and writhed beneath him, moaning out his name. It didn't take long before she lost control and was screaming out words she wasn't sure she had even heard before.

"Fuck, Edward. I want you." She choked out. "Now," she commanded. Edward ceased his movements below and travelled his mouth upward, kissing every inch of skin he could reach. "Now," she repeated.

"Bella," He moaned through her skin as he continued upward. When he reached level with her eyes, he stopped briefly to look them. There wasn't one ounce of doubt there so he lifted her up again, returning them to their original position with a new anticipation. As slowly as he could manage, he lowered her onto him and let out a growl at the feeling. Bella felt impossibly more flow to her center as she threw her legs around him and sunk her teeth into his neck, only strengthening the growl. He slowly began maneuvering in and out, as gently as he could manage.

"More." She demanded as she arched her back against the wall to provide even less space as his thrusts became more powerful and more frequent. He reached his hands around to grab her and yank her in closer, spreading her legs the furthest the would go. The pace continued to quicken and the force continued to strengthen as she felt herself coming close for the second time. "Fuck me." She growled, bringing Edward closer to his own as he felt her walls tighten around him and her nails dig into his back. She drug them in all directions, leaving a mess of scrapes in circles on his back. "You...feel. so. good" She panted as she struggled to remain upright. Edward didn't last another minute, losing himself in the feel of Bella as he called out her name several times.

They remained against the wall in the same position as they struggled to even out their breathing. Bella rested her head on his shoulder while taking deep gasps of air, and he mimicked her movements. Eventually, when they both managed to relax, Bella loosed her grip slightly before whispering, "fuck," into his ear. They both turned to look at each other and, although both saw fear in the other's eyes, they shared an awkward smile. "I think we should talk now," Bella whispered. She let a nervous giggle out as he nodded and released her, taking her hand to lead her to the couch.


	8. Chapter 8

Not much conversation in this ch... Mostly a bit more backstory about Bella and Edward, and when I say not much conversation - I mean one sentence is spoken. Also, the entire chapter is naked. But there's no lovin.

That being said, voila.

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She nervously followed behind him. She new what just happened shouldn't have happened- she knew it was wrong- but something inside of her took over. For that blissful length of time, there was no Jake, no past, no future to worry about. There weren't any fuck-ups, what-ifs, or could have beens. There was only Edward and Bella, doing what Edward and Bella did best together, which certainly wasn't talking. And for a little while, she didn't let herself worry about the consequences of her actions. She didn't let the guilt settle in and find a home. For a little while. So, when they sat down on the couch to discuss, well, why the fuck he was there in the first place, she didn't shy away. She welcomed the conversation. Hell, she desperately needed this conversation. She'd resolved a long time ago not to hurt Jake over Edward anymore, but she still needed Edward. It seemed like lately more than ever. And although she was completely clueless when it came to what she would do next, she couldn't find it in herself to stop, take some time to think, and gather her thoughts. She'd had that time - three long years of it - followed by a few more short hours of it, although she doubted she would remember it in the morning. She would definitely remember everything from the moment she saw Edward though. There's somethings that are never forgotten, and the hungry look in his eyes when they met hers was undoubtedly unforgettable. There are some things that memories never get just right. Like the lust in his eyes, the desperation in his touch, the absolute sense of completion she had when she was around him. No, those things are never forgotten - but they can never be as clear as when they start. All of the bad memories, the ones she pushed herself so hard to remember for so long, were quickly fading into the night. Sitting on that couch with him, in a slightly awkward but still comfortable silence, she couldn't see how any part of him wasn't worth the fight. Staring in his eyes like she was, not quite sober but well at the point of comprehension, she found it hard to believe that she wouldn't curl up into his side at the end of the night. And sitting there, staring at his broken face - a reflection of her own well hidden one - she realized just how much had been her fault too. She had always been respectful, refusing to disclose anything he wouldn't have shared himself. She had tried, as often as possible, to pass around the 'we just didn't work' excuse. She had tried not to be immature about the entire forsaken situation, and she had done well. But she always blamed him. She always blamed his insecurities, his possessive nature, his controlling tendencies. She always knew that what she had done in high school was wrong. That they had formed an unspoken agreement before he left and she broke it. But she had always seen him as so much more than she could ever be, and she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it when he realized it as well. It was a defense mechanism of sorts - however much a shitty one. Only now, sitting in her brother's wife's brother's apartments, undressed and unashamed, after cheating on her husband - the one man she swore she would never hurt again - did she see exactly what that stupid idea of hers had done to him. Only a little over seven years after that God awful conversation did she realize how thoroughly she broke him.

It was never his fault. Sure, he could have handled it better. By all means, could he have ever handled it better. But he wasn't the one who betrayed her first, he wasn't the one who doubted her first. Sure, she trusted him in theory. Sure, she never second guessed his story of where he'd been or where he was going. She didn't, however, trust that he loved her the way she did him. She didn't take the time to scale those wall's he'd built and peek beyond them to see what was really there, or struggle to break her way in. She smiled when he whispered in her ear. She laughed when he told a joke meant only for her. She came closer when he called her name. She watched him at whatever distance he seemed most comfortable with, appearing when needed and fading into the sidelines when she thought he wanted. There wasn't a soul left out of the secret that Edward Cullen did mystical things to her head. She cherished every time smiled at her from across the room as much as she treasured him pulling her close. But she never once trusted that he would still be there the next day.

Sure, he was sarcastic. He was irritable. He was confusing as all hell. When he looked at her though, those times when he would simply fade into the sidelines with her, she didn't have a doubt in the world about their connection. It was when he stepped back into the spotlight that she couldn't figure why on earth he would ever be there the next day. She never doubted the smiles that were meant solely for her to see, or the private jokes that always got her a quick glance and a smirk in a crowded room. She was too busy building walls of her own. Too busy protecting herself from Edward Cullen. So when he left, when he finally left, with the understanding between them that it wouldn't be long they would be separated, she was already convinced he would do better without her, that he would most certainly see that without her around to fog his decisions. Looking at him now, in the dim, yellow lighting, she could see that he was always coming back. She could see how she should've seen it then. She could see that even for the past three years to that chance, however miniscule, that they would keep their promise to always return to each other. She could see how that unspoken promise she made when she was sixteen was most likely the only reason he wasn't a mechanic in Jake's shop right now. Well, that and the infuriating hatred the two men had towards each other.

For endless minutes they sat in silence, staring at one another. She tried her hardest to figure out what it was she needed so desperately to talk to him about. Everything? The entire fucked up ordeal? Jazz probably wanted his apartment back before his next rent check was due. What could have been? A pointless conversation if there ever was one. What still could be?

And for a moment, she entertained the thought. She thought about Jake and how strong of a person he was, how he would probably see it coming, how he would be able to cope. She thought about how hard it had been before to even talk to Edward, and how much harder it had been to live with him. She knew if she took that path that things would either be worse or better - in the beginning. Eventually, though, they would fall into the same old Edward and Bella routine. Unless something was done differently. Unless they learned to communicate together they would still be damned from the start. She thought about how everything they knew of the past three years of each other's lives was from either Alice or Emmett's mouth. She knew that last time everything bad was swept under the rug without so much as a short conversation about it. She knew that if she did anything further with him they would have to talk this time. About everything, before concrete decisions were made. And she knew she wouldn't be able to wait and see if this were going to work before she had to make her decision about Jake. She knew that tonight, laying there curled up against Edward's side without so much as a sock on, she would have to make a decision about her marriage. Without making one about Edward in the process. Every time she walked away from Jake in the past, she thought it would be the last time he gave her a chance. This time, this time she knew. In the pit of her stomach, in the beat of her heart, in the depths of her soul she knew that if she took this chance, made this leap with Edward, she would lose her safety net forever. Fuck, she would essentially be ripping said net into tiny shreds without so much as leaving a needle to mend it.

And, for the first time in years, she wasn't sure if she cared how it would affect Jake.

"I saw Jacob." Edward blurted out suddenly.

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**And, yes I so did end it there. Because I've been running on five hours of sleep all week and it's finally catching up to me. More tomorrow hopefully.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Whoo! Actual conversation. Like, daytime soap opera conversation. **

**:-) **

**Oh, no, she didnt...**

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Bella stared at Edward in shock. Edward stared right back at her, trying to gauge her reaction before he went any further. Her face was set in stone momentarily, and Edward began to think that he could have went about it a little more smoothly than that. He hadn't exactly planned the conversation, he just wanted to wing it. Every romantic thing he had ever told her in the past had been planned. He needed her to see the real him for once, to see how much he meant whatever he said and to say whatever he honestly felt at the moment, no matter how idiotic it sounded coming from his mouth. However, that idiotic statement was the first one to fall out of his mouth. There are a thousand of better things he could have said. Such as, "I'm sorry," or "I've missed you," or "I love you." Hell, he thought that "thanks for the fuck," or "you're fucking beautiful when you scream my name," would have probably given him a better start than telling her he talked to her husband.

"Wait, let me try that again," He mumbled, "Fuck. I'm sorry." He said as he knotted his eyebrows together and grabbed the back of his neck in frustration. "Fuck, I'm fucking this up already." He whispered to himself. The last thing he needed was his last chance to be ruined before it began. Bella finally broke out of her shock and looked at him tenderly, reaching her hand to his chin and pulling his face to look at her.

"Hey, how about this. First, if you can promise me that Jake won't be walking in here anytime soon and blowing a gasket, then I don't see a reason why we couldn't restart the conversation. We can worry about why the hell you two were talking later. Later tonight, don't think you're getting completely out of it, but it can wait." She encouraged him. She needed him to say whatever he had to say, and talking about Jake was inevitably going to end with her storming out.

"Okay," He said before he took a deep breathe. "I want to talk, Bells. About everything, about anything, about whatever you could possibly have to talk to me about. I can't stand not having you in my life anymore. I acted irrational, stupid, inconsiderate, insecure, and you didn't deserve it. I could tell you how I sorry I am every day for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough time to really explain it. I am absolutely worthless without you. You are everything that ever made me worth anything. I just... I just can't sit across the country anymore, pretending you don't exist. Pretending we didn't exist." He had his fists clenched at his sides and his eyes slammed shut. He wasn't angry. Bella knew better than to assume by his body signals that he was angry. Because this was what Edward did when he was stressed. He blurted out whatever popped in his head first, with no internal filter running, and he tensed and tightened up. Trying to steel himself, guard himself from everything. Bella couldn't handle that. There had been enough of that in the past, enough walls and shelters. She reached for his hands and grabbed each one with her own.

"Don't do that Edward," She whispered, "Don't close me out. I will walk away right now if you're going to put up walls. All or nothing, you can't afford to be afraid anymore. I have no idea where this conversation will lead us but I can promise you that we will finish it. No more secrets, no more wishing it away, we are figuring this out. Tonight." He looked at her as he opened his eyes and relaxed his hands into her touch. They stared at each other for a few moments, digesting that small piece of conversation that could signify a big change. Because Bella had never taken control like that before, she had never threatened him like that. Although the words were reassuring, Edward heard the threat in there. She wouldn't go back to the dysfunctional way things were before. She would leave at the first sign of it. It wasn't what she would probably do if he started acting like an ass, it was a promise of what she would do before it ever got that far. Those few simple words to anyone else were a milestone to them. Edward understood. He also understood that he had a small opening in front of him, a solitary chance to jump into that opening and into the life he'd always hoped for. He understood that if he could take that chance, jump in headfirst and blind, that she just might be willing to do that with him. She also might walk away. It was up to him to decide if it were worth the risk. He didn't hesitate a moment. He had lived without her for three years and was absolutely miserable. He didn't give a fuck what he had to go through to keep her now.

"So, where do we start?" He asked with a completely calm face. This calm wasn't the mask she was used to, it wasn't a hard, carved surface with eyes that betrayed his true thoughts. It was just... serene. His eyes were filled with love and a sparkle of excitement. They were filled with answers to her questions and questions for her. For once, he let the fear go completely. Because if he put it all out there, if he gave her everything she asked, and she still walked away - at least he would never wonder about what would have happened. He would know. He hoped with everything in him that everything he had could be enough for her.

"Why did you come?" She asked. "Why now?" Edward thought of the best way to phrase it.

"To start, can I tell you why but leave out why now?" He asked, trying not to worry about her reaction. He needed to be open for her, that was what she had said she needed most. She gave him a skeptical glance but nodded anyway. "My life without you there is a disaster. I'm a complete mess without you. And it's probably some sick codependent bullshit but I literally need you. I need you to be there when I go to sleep, and more importantly when I wake up. I need to hear your voice in the middle of a stressful day. I need to feel your arms wrapped around me or else I feel like I'm just totally falling apart." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I can't lie. I didn't want to beg, I didn't want to gravel back then. When you left... I tried everything I had done before to get you to come back, but I couldn't make myself follow you. I thought you may be happier here. I felt like I would be holding you back, making you miserable if I continued to chase you until you took me back. So, I didn't. When you didn't come back, I thought that you _were_ happier. Then people started telling me things, telling me how you were acting, how you weren't talking to anyone, and they fucking said you were hardly _eating_. I lost it. I know that everything we've ever done together has been in the wrong way, but to feel the way I felt - the way I thought you felt - after losing it... That's something that we should've never given up." He paused for a minute to collect some more thoughts, while Bella leaned more into his shoulder to collect her own. She had been just like that, but she was never aware people were telling _him_ about it. "Then one day, Emmett told me about...him. I couldn't handle that, Bells. I couldn't be the reason that you cried yourself to sleep at night, the reason for any resentments you held, I definitely couldn't be the reason that you settled into a life you never wanted. I couldn't. I fucking packed. I fucking threw everything I ever planned to see again in a couple suitcases. I was coming to find you, I was going to beg you, plead with you, do whatever it took. I would have lived the rest of my life with my mouth taped shut if it would've made you take me back and I was about to board when Alice called..." He trailed off. Bella felt a tear fall from her eye. She had never told Alice, for fear she would tell Edward, but it turns out that Emmett told him almost immediately. She tried her best to fight off a sob before he heard it. She knew that when she said everything, this was bound to come up, but she didn't plan on it being so soon. Or him knowing as much as he did. "Alice didn't know what I knew, Bells, I never told her. I just turned around and went home. I sat there and pulled my hair out while my luggage flew to Seattle and back. That tore me apart, baby, it killed me. It was worse than the day you started dating Jake in high school, worse than any time you've ever walked away from me, worse than the time you walked away from me for good. To think that it was that bad, I was that awful, for you to keep something like that from me. That you didn't ever plan to tell me. That was my breaking point. I knew that it wasn't something you would normally ever do, and if you were really keeping it from me, really going off with him instead..... I must have been terrible to you. You wouldn't have done it if you weren't afraid. And for whatever I did to make you that afraid, I'm sorry. A thousand times sorry." He continued, his tortured voice getting slightly more choked as well.

"We were both afraid," She murmured. "I just couldn't handle telling you, Edward. I didn't know how you would... Fuck, I never meant to do that to you, I never meant for you to know... I thought it would ruin everything for you. I thought you would stick with me when you didn't want to. I thought... I don't know what I thought. I thought too much but I didn't think clearly at the same time. Does that make sense?" She glanced at him and he nodded his head, "I don't know why I kept it from you. It was wrong... We just fought so much, too much to be anything stable enough for that. We wouldn't have been able to handle it. Jake... Jake was there. Jake was stable. Jake was ready to step up and take responsibility, out of no other reason besides loving me. I didn't know if you were ready to do all of that, and it would've broken my heart to have you flat out tell me you weren't. Because even though I was nowhere near ready, nowhere near strong enough, that little boy already meant the world to me," the tears where flowing freely between both of them now. She heard Edward fight back a sob and snuggled up closer to him, trying to make it easier on either of them. "Even though I couldn't have been prepared for it, and I had no idea what would happen - he was us. Me and You, together, and it would've been brilliant. I was just so scared of having to choose between him or you, and worst part is, the most awful reason I had, the terrifying part of the equation then - was that I didn't know who I would choose.... I just couldn't live with myself for that. So, when I thought I was thinking clearly..."

"That's when you left?" Edward stated, only slightly turning it into a question. She nodded as she wiped her eyes.

"Yeah," She whispered, "I thought... if I didn't tell you, if you never knew... I wouldn't ruin you with it. You wouldn't have to decide if you were ready. I..." She trailed off.

"You wouldn't have to worry about me taking it away." He finished, already knowing the last sentence. "We aren't keeping anything from each other tonight, Bells. Don't hold back, please." He begged, "The only chance in hell we have at figuring any of this out is if we can get through this. If we can talk about even the hardest things, if we can figure out that communication... We have a shot, baby, a tiny little chance, please don't take that away from me. Please." She just nodded and wiped her eyes again.

"Jake stepped in, and we made the plans..."

"That's what he was talking about." Edward wondered, as he remember how Jake already knew that he was second choice, even from the start. How he had said very clearly that Edward had done something to make her marry him.

"It's going to be difficult to wait on that conversation if you keep that up." She attempted to joke. It was unsuccessful, of course, given the nature of the conversation they were having. "Do you want to know the rest?" She asked and he nodded his head, knowing that was the only real answer he could give. She sucked in a deep breath and started her conversation, "We put the plans into place. Everything was going to be done in just a couple months. But then... it was only two weeks before the wedding, Edward." She sobbed as her mind replayed that day in her head. His rubbed her arm as comfortingly as possible, not even having the ability to be mad. He had been mad, he had been furious, he had been miserable, he had been sad... He had been through all that, alone just like her, and worked through it. He couldn't hold it over her head anymore. "Two weeks... Rose and Emmett met us at the hospital that day. All of us were a wreck. Alice freaked out because she lost contact with everyone for almost a week." Edward nodded his head because he remembered that. He also remembered that he knew why- Emmett had called him - but he never told her. "Then it was over. The fear, the stress, the worry over whether or not I was doing the right thing. But the pain, from keeping it from you, from walking away like that, it's never went away."

"But you still married him?" He asked quietly.

"I thought about everything. I thought about coming back, begging even, telling you how sorry I was. I realized that I wouldn't have been able to tell you though, I wouldn't been able to tell you why I did it. I was still so scared, still so confused. And I thought about if the situation came up again - what would I do? The answer was that I would probably do it all over again. I couldn't take that chance, I couldn't put me or you in that situation... knowing I would walk away again, out of fear. Everything was already set, everyone was invited. Jake was safe, we were comfortable together, we were best friends. So, yeah, I through with it. Because I'm chickenshit." She said before letting out a dry, humorless laugh. He just stared at her as he realized exactly how bad they had been - letting it all sink in. They were dynamic together, there was no doubting that, but they sucked at the communication part. He realized exactly how young and stupid they had both been when it all started, and how terrified of the other they had been. Neither one was actually scared of the other one, just of the thought of being walked out on by them.

"I would have chosen you, Bella, and whatever came with you. If you wanted to go through with it, I would have been there - smiling like the teenage boy that just lost his virginity to the waffle house waitress." Bella chuckled at that, but quickly realized what he was saying. "Bells, I would choose you now, even if you were pregnant with Jacob's quadruplets and wanted him to live with us because of it. If you wanted to fly to New York every now and then for whatever reasons, I would take that. If you wanted me to be the one you could call about anything, whether it be work or Jake pissing you off, I would take that. Because there isn't anything that I wouldn't do to have you back in my life in some way, any way possible. Because I just cannot be me without you. I don't function without you. So, I would take anything you gave me. If you wanted a gay best friend, I would start dressing metro and go celibate so I could say I didn't do women." Bella laughed out loud at that. He pulled her face to look up at his. "But Bells, if you want me to stand here, right now, fucking terrified beyond belief, and promise you that I will walk away from everything I have in New York, from everyone I know, and devote myself to you. If you want me to swear to you that I will do whatever the fuck it takes to make us work, even if I have to go to some quasi-doctor like a pussy whipped bitch and talk about my douchebaggery. If you want me to promise you right here that I will never belong to anyone else the way I belong to you, I will. I can tell you all of that right this minute without a second thought. I would only ask one thing from you, because I'm a dick, Bella, and I know that. But you have to give the same to me. You have to jump in whether you're afraid or not and make it work with me. And when I'm being an insufferable jerk, remind me of what it's like to lose you. Don't be afraid to do that, because I will never be willing to give you up - not for anything. You have to talk to me too. I have to know what I'm doing wrong. We have to get this communication shit down, or we'll fail, and, baby, I couldn't handle it again." Bella continued to gaze into his eyes. She saw nothing other than complete devotion, complete honesty. It was that exact moment that she realized that he could do it. He could promise her that, and he would stand by that promise. As afraid as she was, that she would be the one to fuck it up, looking back at him in that moment, she knew she could do the same. Slowly, a captivating smile grew on her smile and, without much, deliberation she nodded her head. Edward looked right back at her going from hopeful and broken, to disbelief and broken, and - finally - the broken began to fade. "Really?" He asked, hope lacing is voice, "Really? Bella? Can we try this?" She continued to nod and all of the pain disappeared from his face as a smile twice the size of hers broke out on his face. He pulled her to him and kissed her softly. There wasn't the same urgency as the last time, but there was a completely new emotion surfacing between them.

Trust.

Before things could get to carried away, Bella backed away and looked at him with a serious expression on her face. His smile remained as he patiently waited on whatever she said next.

"Now, care to tell me what happened with Jake?"

"Oh, Jake." He said innocently.

"Don't pull that shit, Edward. You two hate each other and live on separate sides of the country. You didn't just run into each other."

"Jake," Edward hesitated, "Jake's in New York."

"WHAT?" Bella exclaimed, her face showing pure disbelief. "Why? Where?"

"He's at Alice's right now I think. Look, Bells, if there's one thing we have always agreed on it's that we want you happy. You are the most important thing either one of us has ever had. When you and I started dating, so long ago, Jake told me that if I made you unhappy for even a millisecond he had every intention of stepping in. I told him that if it made you happier, I wouldn't stop him." Bella just stared at him, wondering how that applied to anything current. "When you and him started dating, I was quick to tell him the same thing. I would've left school, Bells, -"

"I think I know that now." She interrupted him.

"The wedding... it took everything in me not to try and stop it. Everything I had. Jacob probably knew that too. He understood then that our agreement was still intact, I think. Because that was the only thing keeping me in New York. Our barely spoken, teenage agreement that we would work together to make sure you were happy. One of us was always waiting in the sidelines, Bells." She just continued to stare, lost in thought, trying to put the pieces together. "So, he flew out to New York the other night. He said you weren't happy. He didn't go into detail, he just showed up - at two in the morning no less - and told me he surrendered. To fix whatever I did to make you marry him, in his exact words. There wasn't a lot of conversation, so I don't know exactly why he did it - Em might."

"Em will. He's been lying for his ass for days." She muttered.

"So, that's basically what happened. Then he left for Alice's and took my last joint with him."

"Sorry you lost your joint." She said seriously, and he stared at her incredulously for a moment before responding.

"Oh, it was so worth it." He said with a smile.

"So, Jake is already okay with this?"

"Yeah... and he already arranged a few things, in case you decided this is what you wanted. We have an agreement, of sorts, I made him one small promise. You have to help me keep that promise."

"What?" Bella said nervously. God only knows what those two could come up with, especially high.

"I promised him that no matter what happened here, even if you decided to be with me, that I wouldn't come between you two again. He needs you, he needs his best friend."

Bella processed that before speaking, thankful Jake had thought to make that condition but worried about the awkwardness of it all, especially the first conversation.

"So, what other... arrangements did he make?" She asked.

"So, you can't get mad." He responded and Bella lifted an eyebrow skeptically, "I think he just wanted you to know that he was comfortable with whatever you decided. Like, not to worry about his feelings so much when you made your decision. I'm not sure what was running through his head, re-"

"Just spit it out, Edward."

"All I really know is that he worked something out with Jasper, made some arrangements or whatever. Situated things, I guess." Bella thought over what he said, trying to see where he was going. Jazz had nothing to do with it. He wasn't even around when everything happened. Jazz was barely connected to any of this. He was just Rose's brother, the lawyer..._Shit._

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**Seriously? What do you think? I need some reviews, love, or I'll put my pouty face on.**_


	10. Chapter 10

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**I'm begging for reviews here. Pertty please?**

**8-(**

**That's a pout. The chapters are getting longer, it's uncontrollable. We finally find a way out of naki time at Jazz's place now. Onto more soap opera dramatics. Whoot!  
**

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"What are the terms?" She asked, as if she really cared at this point. Edward gave her a slightly hurt look, before attempting to cover it quick enough for her to miss it. "Edward, damnit, we aren't going to do this. If you misunderstand me, tell me. I just want to know. Nothing in those papers affects my decision in any way."

"Sorry, I guess we need to work on that, huh? I don't know what they say. I didn't read them - they're personal. That's between you and Jake, and no matter how much it does include me, it doesn't. I think..." He trailed off, trying to understand himself.

"I get it." She said so he would quit worrying about it. She got a lot of things at that point. She got that Edward had stood around and moped for years, not wanting to interfere with her happiness. She got that he knew her biggest secret for most of that time and had somehow forgiven her for it. She knew that Jake, sweet as he was, wasn't the man she should be with. She knew Jake was giving up, for good, and honestly, she wasn't all too sure her decision today mattered much to Jake. He obviously knew - although, she still couldn't believe he went and retrieved Edward. He had everything arranged so that the ball was completely in her court. Knowing Jake, there would be something more though. He would give some hint as to whether he was letting Edward step in for a dance, or he was leaving the ball altogether. He wouldn't just leave it, walk away and wait on her call. He would either leave to give Edward the chance to make her happy - which was still sounding fairly impossible to believe as the kind of the Jake would do - with every intention of returning if it didn't work out, or he would leave in a way that she knew he didn't expect a call until Christmas. "How long will he be gone? What all did he give to you? I don't want to spend all night and day talking about this, Edward, but there's going to be something he didn't tell you - something he knew I'd pick up on." She said with a touch of sadness, realizing that she and Edward hadn't developed that level of communication yet, or ever depending on how you looked at it. Edward seemed to realize it as well, but rather than sadness, Bella saw a fierce determination in his eye. He stood up and walked to the corner where his bags where stored and retrieved everything Jacob had given him. Slowly, he walked up to her and passed them to her.

"He said I had a week." Edward said, "Whether he's staying in New York the entire time or going to LaPush for a while, I don't know." Bella reached out and took the stuff from him. The first thing that caught her eye was the wedding band on top. Next, was a small notecard. Addressed to her. Opening it up, she couldn't help but laugh at what he wrote.

_Bells,_

_If he fucks this up, kick him in the balls to keep him down until I can get to him. _

_Love Always,_

_Jacob_

She showed the small card to Edward and allowed him to read it. A small grin spread across his face and he nodded his head before laughing, unsurprised that Jake would write something like that - even during this. She was starting to get the picture of Jake's intentions, but it was the final item that sealed her decision. He had signed. Jasper had notarized, a day after he left, but he had. Probably not completely legal, but strings had been pulled she assumed. With that ring, that note, and that signature, she knew. Jacob wasn't coming back - and he had never planned to. To Seattle? Maybe. To Washington? Probably. To her? No.

He surrendered, he signed out, he was gone. Because if she were truly honest with herself, she knew that Jake knew what her decision would be before even she did. He also knew her well enough to know that she would need these things to be able to go through with this. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes again - although she wasn't quite sure if they were happy or sad tears, so decided they were bittersweet. Sadness was there because she was at the ending of what had been a great marriage. Happiness because she was at the new beginning of what felt like the right relationship. So she took one more deep breath before turning to Edward to speak.

"Well, we can't stay at my place. It wouldn't be right. If he's not going back there - which I doubt he will - we might as well sublet it to Em and Rose. We need to talk about the living situation, and decide how far we want to jump in head first. Keep in mind, Edward, it has been three years and we really don't know each other very well anymore... We have to build that again. What do you say we go get Jazz and drag him down here. We can get these papers signed and finished up, and see if maybe the two of us could stay here for a few days until we get things figured out." She rambled out, although she knew perfectly well exactly how far she wanted to jump in, and that she still knew him better than she knew herself. She was just trying to be logical, that was never something she had been able to do before.

"Are you ready to sign, though? Baby, you don't have to rush this decision. I will wait if you need me too. And are you sure you want to be around me that much? Do you need any time to process this, to think about it?" He questioned in disbelief. He had been prepared to skydive outside of her office with a sign that said "I'm sorry," or tattoo her name on him or something equally ridiculous that would eventually solve nothing. This, compared to what he had readied himself to do, was too easy. She sighed.

"Edward, I'm ready to sign. Besides, even if I weren't ready - he is, he did sign. He's made his decision, whether because he thought it was best for me or him, I don't know. I've had years to think about it, and trust me I haven't stopped processing all of this. And I am absolutely, one hundred percent sure that now that you're here with me, I have no intention of letting you slip away. So, we can give it a few days at Jazz's and see how things work here, from there I figure we can make a decision. We don't know if this will work out, I know that. But I can't wait to sign these until we find out... It's not fair to any of us. To him, to me, or to you. If I'm going to take this chance with you, Edward, I'm going to do it right. This isn't a trial -this is it. If we screw it all up again, then we do, but having a contingency plan is like guaranteeing failure. I won't do this. He deserves freedom, and you deserve all of me." She glanced towards him and found herself absorbed in his brilliant smile. She couldn't believe after all of this, after everything, he still wanted her the way he did.

"Do you want to go get Jazz?" He questioned, standing up and offering her his hand. She nodded and stood up, taking his hand. They both threw on clothes quickly and he tossed her one of his shirts. She threw it on and it went past her gym shorts down her legs, and Edward watched her dressing shamelessly. "You look so good in that." He said, without even realizing he was speaking. She laughed and rolled her eyes. Of course, she was relishing how good it felt to do something as simple as wear is shirt again, but she couldn't chance another teary moment because of something so small. They had things to take care of. She grabbed his hand and started for the door. He didn't budge as she tugged him forward and she turned around, worried, to find him standing with a silly grin on his face. She lifted an eyebrow at him curiously.

"You're not walking." He shrugged before picking her up to stand on Jazz's couch. She giggled at his behavior.

"You do realize there aren't any elevators in this building, right?"

"I can handle it, Bells. All thirty pounds of you." He joked, earning himself a slight smack on the back of his head. Bella reached her arms around his neck and crawled onto his back, burying her head into his neck as she smiled. A few weeks after Edward and Alice moved to Forks, the foursome had went for a picnic. Neither of the girls had any idea of what was planned for the day, but back then Alice had a bit of a crush on Em and she had dolled the both of them up pretty bad. So when they pulled up to the ending of a tiny trail and grabbed a stereo and a few bags from the back, Bella flipped out. There was no way she could walk in the shoes Alice had forced her into even on a flat surface. A trail? It would prove impossible. So, Edward picked her up and practically tossed her on his back, refusing to put her down. He carried her over three miles out into the little clearing where they were eating lunch that day. Since then, she had rarely been allowed to walk anywhere if they were alone. Class, dinner, things like that were exceptions - usually - but this was one of their little inside jokes. One of the things he could do to get himself out of trouble, so long as it wasn't too bad. She laughed out loud as he opened the door and took off in a half jog towards the staircase. She got anxious when he didn't slow down on the stairs. However, when they reached the floor they had to stop on, he stopped abruptly before lifting her off of his back and pushing her against the wall. She didn't have time to register that she had moved before his lips were on hers and his tongue was sliding against her bottom lip. She parted her lips lightly and he roughly consumed her mouth with his. He pulled her hands above her head and held them against the wall with one hand, while wrapping the other hand behind her back and pulling her closer to him. She responded by wrapping her legs around him and pushing against him as a small moan escaped her. Too soon, Edward released her lips but held their position as he rested his forehead against hers.

"Quickly?" He said between breaths, "We need to be alone. Soon." He stated as Bella stared back at him through hooded eyes. She knew that they would have to learn to control this behavior, but now didn't seem like the time to start working on that.

"No. Now, Edward. No one uses this flight at this time of night." She said before attacking his neck with her lips. That was probably a lie. She didn't use any flights this time of night, she she wouldn't hardly know. She just didn't care.

"Fuck," He muttered before pulling her face up and crashing his lips into hers once again. He couldn't get enough of her and although he knew that he wanted to give her the best he could very soon, he wanted this right now. Impatience was prevalent again, as he quickly unzipped his pants, not even bothering to pull them down. He shoved her shorts aside and thrust into her greedily. She could stop the loud growl that rose in her throat as he did so, and he pushed his lips onto hers to silence her. Quickly, he moved in and out of her with frantic movement, his movements growing faster and harder while her noises became more difficult to control. It wasn't long at all before the he felt her losing control already and she began to tighten around him. A few select words fell out of his mouth as he finished right after. It wasn't drawn out, it wasn't romantic, it was simply a release. He had the feeling that there would be quite a few more moments like that before they would be able to tune it down. Nothing would have made him happier than to carry her to a hotel for a few days and lock her away under the sheets with him. He had every intention of doing just that, as soon as business was cleared up here.

"Where the hell did that come from?" She asked as he lowered her to the ground and she began straightening out her clothes.

"The neck," He shrugged as he attempted to make himself presentable as well. Bella just chuckled. He had always been extremely sensitive there, and she had always used it to her advantage, but she hadn't thought of it on the 'ride' over. In fact, she was surprised he made it as far as he did, although that explained the jogging. He put her a couple steps up and waited for her to crawl on again, which she did - this time carefully avoiding any contact between her lips and his neck.

He moved in a casual stroll now, with a grin on his face the entire time. Bella pointed him towards the right door and he knocked.

"Hey, babe?" She whispered in his ear, smiling to herself when he shivered.

"Yeah?"

"It's my place. We can just walk in." She said before laughing.

"Right." He said before shaking his head and turning the doorknob. He wasn't sure if he was prepared to see the place that Bella and Jake shared together, but his fears were relieved as he stepped inside. It was completely Bella, and really didn't have any more Jake in it than her old bedroom, or dorm room, did. A few pieces of woodwork by him were scattered around, and a small table in the corner held a collection of supplies for his little hobby. The curtains, the couch, the rugs, the pictures - that was all Bella. There were some up of the two of them, but nothing painful to look at. They looked like the same best friends, the same Bella and Jake they had always been. There were pictures of LaPush, of Forks, of Charlie and Billy, of Rose and Emmett, and of Alice. There were pictures of New York, although only a few. The television - that was probably Jake. Edward doubted Bella cared enough to buy one that big, but from the looks of it, Jasper was thankful someone had. He turned around and looked at the two of them. When he saw them, a smile broke, but his eyes were miserable.

"What's wrong, Jazz?" Bella asked in a concerned tone. She never left Edward, but instead he walked them over to the couch and sat down, maintaing their position. Jazz nodded to the guest room and sighed. Bella and Edward went to look in that direction, but before their heads finished turning they heard sounds travel their direction. Edward cracked up laughing but Bella whipped her head to look at Jasper.

"In my apartment? With you sitting out here?" She said in a frustrated tone. The two could never keep their hands off each other.

"Er, Bella?" Edward interrupted, trying to remind her that she didn't have a right to care at the moment. Bella blushed furiously before correcting herself.

"With you here?" She repeated the last part only. Jasper laughed at her blush and restated sentence, before nodding at her and rolling his eyes.

"Well, we're here to save you, bro." Edward said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, hey, would you mind if we... wrapped up things tonight?" She said quietly, hoping Jazz would understand.

"At this point, Bells, I would happily skydive out of a broken airplane using a trash bag as a parachute to escape here." He said. Honestly, he was just happy that things looked like they may work out. And he was really tired of hearing his sister getting laid. He shook his head before mumbling, "They never stop, I swear."

"It's probably the hormones," Bella responded as Edward stood up with her on his back, only to sit right back down and turn his head to her. Jasper was staring at her slack jawed and scrunching his eyebrows. Only then did Bella realize what she had just let slip.

"Fuck." She said, but started giggling anyways. Em was supposed to be the one who couldn't keep a secret, she usually didn't have a problem.

"Say what?" Jasper fumbled out.

"Yes, do tell." Edward followed.

"Sheesh. You two are like some old women. Bunch of gossips. I'm not saying anything more, it isn't my place." She said slowly with a twinkle in her eye. Edward rolled his eyes before standing up and walking to the guest room door and pounding on it with his fist.

"Put some fucking clothes on and get the fuck out here, we all need to talk." He said. Once he heard them start fumbling around for clothes, he walked back to the couch to resume his original seating position with Bella. Someone had to do it eventually and he was the logical choice, since he was the only one not blood related to someone in the room. Rosalie and Emmett fumbled out, Emmett in a pair of pajama pants and nothing else, and Rose in his shirt. She was glaring at Edward for interrupting them but she and Bella started laughing when they realized that they happened to have the same style choice at the moment.

"So, Bella." Rose began in a sly voice, "Want to tell me why you're wearing Edward's shirt?"

"Well, Rose," Bella mumbled back, "I'd presume it's for the same reason you're wearing Em's." Rose smiled a bit before concealing it so Edward didn't see. He still had to earn her friendship. Bella may believe he could change, but Rose wanted proof. She was thrilled, of course, but she wouldn't let him see that yet. Emmett just cast a glance at Edward, who just threw his hands up in surrender.

"If I would have known we were missing a baby shower, we would have made an appearance sooner." He said as he turned his own glare on Emmett, his best friend, who had forgotten to mention this to him. Rosalie and Emmett glared at Bella while Jazz turned the same look to Rose. Bella was the first to speak.

"Look, I just said it must be the hormones. I wasn't thinking, these two made their own assumptions." She said defensively with a pout. Emmett's glare was lost already, and Rose's face softened before she turned to Edward and Jazz.

"We were waiting to make it out of the first three months, guys. Bella just found out the other day, and with all of this happening, we just figured we would wait until we could tell everyone in person." Edward and Jazz both accepted the explanation and approached the couple to offer congratulations.

"Wait, Rose." Bella spoke up, "You knew about this too?" Rose turned her head away in silent confirmation. Emmett, being the loud, obnoxious, big brother he is, spoke up.

"Yeah, she did. We bought Jake's plane ticket - I mean, you didn't think he walked, right? Hell, you check your bank account daily - you would've noticed a last minute ticket to New York." He said, still smiling at her. She huffed, although she wasn't actually angry, and told Edward and Jazz to hurry up. Edward returned to the couch to hoist her up and the three of them headed towards the door. Bella waved her hand nonchalantly towards them.

"As you were. Although, I think you might want to call Alice. You've already left her as the last to know." She said. Emmett's face turned cold and Edward and Rose couldn't help but laugh. "Actually, tell her there's a meeting tomorrow. Not optional." She said as she laughed her way out into the hall. She turned to Jasper with curious eyes. "Does divorce count as a family emergency? I think I need a few days off..."

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_**Review, or I'll stick Alice on you. **_


	11. A Seven Nation Army Couldnt Hold Me Back

**It's a short one. I've been getting stomped this week... Stupid French test today, and no that's not the first time I've said that in the past couple of weeks, because the professor cannot make up his mind on things. I'm typing between work & class, with fingers that hurt due to the steel strings of my 66 Fender Mustang, that I am in love with, and I am currently listening to Seven Nation Army & The Denial Twist on repeat (before test music) wish me luck - you know, if I actually take the stinkin test today. **

**:-)**

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Alice sighed as she stared up at the ceiling. Jake was recovering nicely by now, right? It was like watching a hurricane brew on the television and not even being close enough to catch a spare wind. Ridiculous. Her head was filled with a ridiculous amount of movies - from Breakfast at Tiffany's to The Godfather. Currently, the were watching Clerks 2. Well, she was watching it and the ceiling while Jake snored at the other end of the couch. She lightly kicked him in the face. He didn't move. Again. He scratched his cheek and turn his head.

"Jake?" She said, her voice a little louder than necessary.

Snore.

_Fuck it, he'll figure it out when he wakes up._ She thought as she began packing. She'd had quite enough of being out of the circle. She was losing sleep over it. She was throwing a few family pictures into her suitcase - unsure if she would be coming back in person, or just sending movers, and unsure of when that may be - when her cell started ringing.

"Hello?" She said, glancing at the clock.

"Ali!" A voice boomed over the speaker and she moved the phone away from her ears.

"Hey Em!" She enthused, excited to finally be hearing from _somebody_. "How is everything going on the west side playa?" She joked, letting her honest curiosity show through the humor.

"Hmmm...." He hesitated. Alice rolled her eyes because Emmett was such a drama queen sometimes. "I dont know, Al... There's a meeting scheduled for tomorrow in the AM though." He said with forced professionalism. Alice really had no idea how Em could be in such high demand in his profession. She really wasn't sure what he even looked like in a business suit. Or even sober, really.

"Em, we haven't had official meetings in years. How am I supposed to get to Forks in time?"

"Well, it's official, alright. Bella Swan, princess of the penthouse, called it herself. Not optional. You can get there in my Jeep when I pick you up from the airport. It should arrive sometime in the early morning. Are you still babysitting Jake?"

She sighed, "Yeah. He seems to be doing a little better. I'll probably leave him a house key and car key or whatever if I'm leaving."

"No fight from the munchkin?" Emmett teased, "I heard it's usually harder than this for you to find time to travel."

"I was already packing." She said with a giggle and heard Emmett chuckle in the background.

"Alright, midg, see you tomorrow."

"Alright. Don't call me midg!" The two ended their brief phone call and Alice secured her ticket, texted Em the information, and finished packing. She rolled her luggage out towards the door, stopping to phone for a cab and leave Jake a few things. She cast one last glance in his direction before dropping the keys on the counter and walking out.

_I really hope he's okay..._

She slept through her flight with ease, hardly remembering the layover where she had offered fifty bucks to another passenger to wake her up in time for the next plane. The passenger came through and Alice payed up, falling back asleep on the second flight. By the time she landed in Seattle, she was her usual energetic self. She stopped at the coffee shop in the terminal, ordering three shots of expresso and filling the remainder of the cup with kahlua to drown out the airport coffee taste. She made it about six steps before she doubled back and bough Emmett one, realizing he would probably need it this early in the morning. She grabbed her bags and strolled outside to passenger pickup, not seeing the Jeep anywhere. _Ugh. Emmett is such a woman! _One of Emmett's biggest traits, second only to his laid back antics, was his habitual tardiness. Charlie had told her once that he actually had been late to his own birth. At the thought of Charlie, she smiled. She was very excited to be able to see the man she considered her second father. He actually used to visit her and Bella, before things got rough and he couldn't anymore. She waited a good thirty minutes before finally seeing the bright red, mud-covered Jeep she would know anywhere. Rolling her eyes as the rear popped open, she threw her bags in carelessly before opening the passenger door.

"Emmett, get your ass out here and help me, you know I can't get in this mother fucker alone." She said. Hell, she could hardly see over the seat. She was watching a young couple walk into the airport, one that looked a lot like Edward and Bella. Sure, his hair was the wrong color - not the rich bronze Bella adored and Alice detested so much she had dyed over it - but the sheer power between the two of them was invigorating. After watching the way he looked at her as she laughed and threw her head back, nobody would even need coffee. It was like waking up to the sunrise to see a relationship with that dynamic. In her distraction, she heard rather than saw the driver door open. She squealed when she was raised and lifted into the seat, not as much from surprise at the action as from surprise from the grip. It wasn't Emmett. She looked down to see a mess of blonde hair in a faded Fender shirt give her a mesmerizing smile and shut her door for her. She spun her head around to the drivers seat, ready to question who the hell he was. When he climbed in he gave her another quick smile before introducing himself.

"Hey." He said in a soft, southern voice, "You must be the infamous Alice. I'm Rose's brother, Jasper." She looked at him with a skeptical glare. The hair was right, but for being twins they really didn't look much alike. He looked... awkward. She huffed.

"Well, Jasper, you kept me waiting." She said with a smile, making the sarcasm evident.

"Sorry, ma'am." He said with a chuckle as he pulled the car out of it's space.

The ride to the apartment was silent after Jasper explained to Alice that Em had a last minute errand to run for Rose before they could head to Forks and he'd offered to pick her up in the Jeep while Em took his car.

"There's never a need for a lady to sit around a crowded place waiting for a man. That's the man's job." He had said, in the sexiest slow southern drawl she had ever heard. She'd turned her head towards the window and smiled, decided right then and there she was going to keep this man.

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****** So, What was your most memorable 'first meet'?**

** This is for my personal post-secondary educational enjoyment (because, lets face it, there's no telling if I will actually test today & if I do end up having to, those will cheer me up when I'm done) **


	12. Dead Leaves and Dirty Ground

**Second today. Test pushed til Monday, big surprise. I don't know if I like this ch. because honestly I'm too tired to reread it. I really looked forward to writing this one and had to close it out. I may correct some things before I post the next CH. I'll but an A/N at the top of the next if I do. **

**Current music is still The White Stripes (Shit's been on repeat this evening) **

**Gimme some music. I'm itching for a new name on the mp3 list. Anything from current mood to blues to country and on. I'm unpredictable in my playlists. Something new.**

**Also, the lyrics were random. Sometimes I tend to write lyrics to melodies that exist solely in my head. I tried to explain it the best I could, although I'm not sure how well that is. More lemonade soon. If you guys want more? **

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Jasper was out of the Jeep before Alice could blink when they arrived and he swiftly began arranging his arms to carry all of her luggage upstairs.

"You could let me carry something." Alice stated, not really wanting to but frustrated that he wouldn't let her anyway. He shook his head and nodded towards the building doors, where a casual Emmett strolled out in a pair of destroyed jeans, a 'Property of Forks High Baseball" shirt, and a pair of chucks. He wore an enormous smile as he picked Alice up and spun her around a few times as she squealed. As soon as he released her, he held out a generic shopping bag and Alice groaned.

"Is she still enforcing that rule?" She whined. Emmett laughed as he nodded. In high school, Bella had established the rule that if Alice could dress the three of them daily, she could have her pick in the penthouse. She had enforced a strict dress code that clearly stated, no heels, no skirts, no dresses, and no makeup. Apparently, she still expected it to be followed. Alice pulled out a pair of knee high chucks with a quirky design, a pair of denim shorts, and an Olympic Rain t-shirt. "At least she picked a good band." She grumbled.

"Good to see you too Midg - and you know you shouldn't be surprised." He said, still laughing. Alice gave him a glare but got distracted as she watched Jasper's retreating figure. Emmett's smile got a little bigger. "Hey, Jazz." He called over his shoulder. He held an amused stare on Alice as Jasper responded.

"Yeah?"

"Can Midg change in your bathroom? Penthouse clothing dictations."

"Yeah, sure. Follow up." He nodded at Alice to follow him and she gave a dirty glance to the still chuckling Emmett as she passed by. A few minutes later, Emmett watched Alice walk out with too much bare skin and a satisfied smirk. _Poor Jazz._ He shook his head as he hoisted her up into the Jeep. Alice had a habit of redesigning clothes that weren't up to her standards, and apparently Jasper had left scissors within her reach. _Those shorts are lethal.._.

"Damn, Al. I haven't seen you look at anyone like that since high school." He said, teasing as he hopped into the driver's seat. Alice turned her head and blushed. She didn't blush easily but being reminding of her adolescent crush on the man she now referred to as a brother usually did the trick.

"Shut up, Em." So he did. The drove most of the trip in silence, listening to music, bouncing between the CD's and radio. The Offspring came began on one of the tracks and they both began laughing. At a girls choice dance in high school, Alice had dragged Emmett along as her 'date'. She had asked him, repeatedly and unsuccessfully, all night to dance and didn't get her wish until One Week started playing. Not the most memorable first dance, but a great memory to her. "Holy hell," She muttered, "We must have looked like such idiots." Emmett nodded in agreement and they both held their smile until the next song came on. Alice got a weird look on her face and turned to Emmett with a questioning eye.

"It's Bell's 'Alice Mix'," he explained, "this is a new song though. It must remind her of you." He said thoughtfully, and turned it up a little. "Have you heard it?" He asked.

"No. What's it called?"

"Mud Pies and Broken Wings, I think." He said with a shrug.

"Huh," She said. She reached for the dial and turned it up. It had a different feel to the intro, solely an acoustic guitar. After a short solo, drums kicked in. It was soft and rhythmic, graceful and disrupted. Alice smiled and listened to the lyrics that were so soft they were practically whispered, almost spoken rather than sang.

'crazy/corrupted/all that is broken/mends with her touch/mud pies at seventeen/butterflies with broken wings/ constant strength/flutters in a broken soul/how do we get back there/only you would know/climbing trees/she's five foot three/sunshine and sparkling tears/push me forward/drown my fears/we could fly/run and hide/mexican margaritas/tuscan sunsets/chicago skies/ strawberry mud pies/ just save me/darlin/ you're the only one who can save me now/ my butterfly/you carry my strength/broken wings/you support me/save me darlin/save me now.'

Alice looked at Emmett. "Holy fuck, Em."

"Tell me about it," He said, shaking his head.

"Oh, I'm pregnant." He blurted. He had not been looking forward to telling Alice last but he definitely needed to do it soon, they were closing in on Forks. She laughed at him for a while until she realized he hadn't joined her. It was typical Emmett to call himself pregnant or some other random bullshit. As soon as she realized he wasn't joking, he wasn't talking about himself literally, she squealed. They talked animatedly for the rest of the trip until they pulled into the Cullen's ridiculously long drive. Alice looked at him questioningly and he shrugged.

"She figured if she was going to just show up at the chief's with Edward in tow, you needed to be there too. Calming effect or something." He said as he killed the engine. They were both about to get out when Bella came riding out on Edward's back smiling at the sky. Edward walked up to Alice's window to tell her their parents had left earlier and to just follow them to Charlie's. On the short drive over, she and Emmett could literally feel the bass vibrating through the Jeep from Bella's car. Bella was shaking her head and Edward was fidgeting. Alice laughed when she realized how nervous he must be. Charlie absolutely hated him, although Alice never really knew why. Sure, in high school he was a pothead who skipped one too many times and had a few run-ins with Charlie's coworkers. So was Bella, though. She just got out of trouble quicker than he did. The radio from the car turned down as they pulled into the drive and Alice could literally see Edward vibrating in fear. Apparently, so could Emmett because the both started laughing so hard they forgot to get out of the car. That is, until Edward knocked on their window with a glare. Bella was standing behind him with an amused look on her face. The foursome strolled into the house, not bothering to knock, feeling as home here as any of their own houses.

"Dad!" Bella called out and Edward snapped his head to her with wide eyes. She giggled. "We're in town. We're going out back. I'll call and let you know if I'm cooking."

"Okay." Charlie's gruff voice came from the living room, sounding a little sharper than usual. Bella peeked her head in and quickly brought it back out, motioning for everyone to follow her outside. As they stepped towards the edge of the property line, Bella fell to the ground laughing. Everyone just looked at her like she was crazy. Eventually, she came to and pulled herself back up, still smiling. She turned to Emmett.

"I know something you don't know." She teased, drawing out her words like a grade-schooler.

"What?" He said suspiciously.

"Let's just say Dad can't get mad." She said as she looked at Edward reassuringly. She took off to the the penthouse in the trees and climbed the rungs with experience. The others followed suit. Once they were in their solitude, and all the stress and fear evaporated, she and Alice were able to get their girly giggles and squeals out of the way before she complimented Alice's outfit. Alice just stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes. Tradition of the place clearly stated that meetings were to be started with a bowl and a round of Jim Beam - a tradition Bella and Emmett had never stopped. It was actually a rule and Edward had engraved it into the wood to prove it. Just like Alice had wrote her name on 'her chair' so Edward would quit fighting her over it. The radio was blaring but they were uncaring. That was the beauty of the place. Complete solitude. Even Charlie would never bother them out here. They laughed at old music, discussed new music, and Edward complimented Alice's shirt - saying he'd heard a few of the fairly new group's songs but never actually been able to see them perform. They talked about Emmett becoming a dad, and how ridiculously thrilled Bella was to be a 'second mom.' Emmett reassured everybody that Rose had given her the title because of her crazy support through everything. They talked about Renee and they talked about the weather.

After hours of useless and meaningful stoned chatter, Bella's cell began ringing. Edward watched her answer, a welcome distraction from watching her breathe.

"Hey Jazz." Bella said with a giggle. Edward rolled his eyes and hoped at least she didn't try to hide this stuff from him. That could be awkward. "What's up?" She listened for a minute and her eyes went wide. "Shit!" She glanced at Edward, then Emmett, then Alice, giving the second two a silencing glare. "Yeah. Uh, Alice probably does." She mumbled. She mouthed 'sorry' to Edward before turning to Alice to ask if Jake was still at her place. Edward quickly became confused and uncomfortable, but remembering his promise, he pasted on a clearly fake smile. Bella was happy he was at least trying. Alice nodded her head at Bella with a confused facial expression. "Can you call up there and ask him what he wants to do about our plans for Saturday?" Edward knitted his eyebrows in confusion as both Alice and Emmett's eyes went wide. They quickly attempted to cover it but it was too late. Edward had noticed but decided not to question it yet. He made a promise, and it was already killing him. Alice crawled out for some privacy and balanced herself on one of the rungs while having a quiet discussion as Bella made small talk over the phone with Jasper. She popped her head back in and looked directly at Bella.

"Can you take Rose?" She asked, apparently knowing exactly what they were talking about. Bella repeated the question to Jazz and nodded in Alice's direction after getting an answer. Alice crawled back out and Edward turned to speak to Bella.

"Do I get to know what's going on?" He asked hopefully. She shook her head and his heart fell a little. She saw his facial expression and rolled her eyes.

"It's not like a big secret or anything, more of a surprise, and you're coming with us."

"What are we doing then?" He said with a more comfortable smile returning to his face.

"Going to a concert." She shrugged. Edward slumped back and sighed, knowing that was all he would get from her today.

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Review. Give me music. Shake me(on the blackberry) all night long.


	13. Chapter 13

**It's not my longest. Work is kicking my butt. School is kicking my butt. My sis & nieces and nephews moved in. Someone died. So, it's not my longest, but it's here. **

**Hopefully, you enjoy. And Review. **

Also, NBT epilogue is coming today. Don't be mad. That story's been over & I have refused to accept that until now. It's time, so hop on over there when you're done with this & it should be up.

**XOXOXOX**

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Everyone was piled into Emmett's jeep as they drove down the familiar twisted and turning road. Nobody was talking much - each enjoying the feel of being back home as they watched the familiar scenery pass by.

Emmett wondered how it was he could feel as if they were just driving this road yesterday, on their way to him and Edward's graduation party after-party. He could still feel the itchy, shiny material on his skin as he drove the trip in the same car he did that night, with the same people he did that night. He had refused to take off his cap and gown for the most of the night, stating that he, in fact, fucking earned it. Edward had laughed at him and thrown on some ridiculous black on denim getup that apparently made Bella want to suck his face off for hours before efficiently cock-blocking and stating she wasn't ready. Emmett had called him a pansy that night, and several times that year, but realized now that he would've done it for Rose if he had been lucky enough to know her then. He could hardly believe how much his life had changed since then. There was probably very little he would do for that crazy, insatiable, psychotic woman he was proud to call his wife. That car-building, bass-playing, ivy-league, maternal sex-goddess who had for some unimaginable fucking reason chose him.

Alice tilted her head against the window with an amused expression playing on her face. She honestly didn't know what she was thinking back then with her insane obsession with Emmett. He was too much a brother, too much a friend, and too much of a man whore even back then to be worth the chase. Too much for Alice, of course, if anyone else had fucked with him she would have beat their ass, still would, out of sisterly duty. Emmett wouldn't hit a lady (or even a butch) but Alice and Bella would stomp a bitch in a second if she fucked with their brother. She was still confused as to why she ever thought the two of them hooking up would be a good idea. She couldn't deny that the idea stemmed from Bella and Edward, but seeing Em standing next to Jasper she knew there was no way she was ever meant to be with Emmett. She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face when she thought back to her totally fuckable ride from the airport. Jasper. That man was a keeper, she knew for sure, although she was unsure why he was still available. She had heard Bella speak of him a few times and had seen several pictures but it wasn't until she was sitting next to him, seeing that relaxed smile sitting above that strong jawline and hearing that sexy, southern drawl pour out of his mouth that she knew if she could only hear that man moan her name for the rest of her life she would die a happy woman.

Bella and Edward were snuggled into their own private cocoon. The two of them were equally drenched in bliss and scared as hell at the same time. There were many things to come and many things to discuss. Where would they go from here? Would they even get along anymore? Would they even know each other anymore? How would Charlie react? Esme and Carlisle had reacted very well, as expected. Bella had kept in touch with them over the past few years, despite the situation with Edward. Esme had provided her a mother figure when Renee had provided her a friend. Esme and Carlisle had known the situation, as Carlisle had been working at the hospital when Bella lost the baby. They hadn't approved, naturally, but also agreed that since it was after-the-fact that there wasn't much use telling Edward. Today, Bella had rode in with a smile on her face as Edward walked in without knocking.

"Mom! Dad!" He yelled, not knowing where in the oversized house they may be. Or how dressed they would be. Emmett, Bella, Edward, and Alice had all been scarred by opening a door at just the wrong moment - all at separate times. Obviously, Carlisle never slowed down even after so many years of marriage. Now, of course, it probably wouldn't phase any of the kids because Carlisle and Esme going at it was pretty much a constant in the Cullen household - another tiny fact kept from Charlie.

"Edward?" He heard his mom call back from the general direction of the kitchen. She wasn't expecting any of the kids to be in town. What was Edward doing there? He usually avoided Forks like the plague, only returning for birthdays and select holidays. "Is that you, honey?"

"Yeah, uh, Dad's not in there right?" He called back with a nervous chuckle.

"No." She sounded like she was fighting off a giggle of her own. Edward and Bella wondered over to that direction and looked at her expectantly. Edward and Esme carried on a conversation for a good two minutes before she turned to go give her son a hug. When she did, however, there may have been a vase dropped. Not that Esme would ever admit to it. She was beside herself with excitement. She had met Jacob a few times and thought he was nice enough, a wonderful friend for Bella to have. Like everyone else though, she saw that it wasn't were Bella's heart was. She knew that the intensity that Bella shared with her son wasn't present with Jacob. Of course, she never told Bella that. She welcomed him with open arms, however awkward the situation was. Esme and Carlisle had went to the wedding - and although their tears were not necessarily tears of joy, they both held smiles on their faces throughout the ceremony.

Later on, when Carlisle arrived home, the excitement had re-stirred itself. Bourbon and mimosas were brought out, and like she always does around Esme, Bella took a mimosa instead of her usual preference.

They had been disappointed that they wouldn't have the chance to see Alice before the kids disappeared for who knows how long, but Bella reassured them that she would make sure Alice came by before 'skipping town'.

So, once they had left the Cullen home and traveled to the penthouse, and drank and smoke themselves sober all over again, it was decided that another reminiscent adventure was called for and the gang piled into the jeep.

As they pulled up to first beach, they fumbled out in a rush to fix their sobriety. This trip to Forks was about going back in time in a way, a chance to remember why the four of them came together, and making sure there were enough people around to hold off Charlie if necessary. So drink they did, until well past sunset. Bella and Edward held hands as they walked along the water. Edward tugged her hand off from the water line and over to a secluded little place of beach. It was so dark you couldn't make out where the water ended and sand began.

"Remember the first time we came here?" He murmured.

"Yeah." She said softly, breathing in the feel of the ocean and the man beside her. "It was just like this." They had came out to the beach the Fall that they met. There had been a party out here but they had found this secluded spot.

"Well, I doubt Em is going to lock us out of the jeep this time." He laughed.

"Probably not. Rose would kill him." She giggled. "Besides, Lauren was a fucking tramp and I'm pretty sure he's realized that now."

"Yeah, remember his reaction when Rose actually made him wait beyond the first date?" They both laughed at that.

"I remember the sand swirling, just like this, and for as long as I'd lived here I had never seen this place so beautiful." She whispered as she stared at the sight before her. It was indescribable. The wind had picked up just enough that there were swirls of light sand, almost looking more like a painting than reality, whirling around them. It was one of her favorite scenes since they had discovered it those years ago. Usually, on a really bad day - such as his birthday, or the day she left, or the day she lost the baby - she would make the trip down to the beach just to see it. It was calming. It was also a little masochistic, but not tonight. "I was scared as hell that night." She admitted "I didn't know if everything I was feeling was normal; I was pretty convinced it wasn't. It felt... obsessive. I was so terrified, but then we came here. I saw this for the first time in my life, even though I lived here forever, and it calmed me." He placed a soft kiss on her temple as she continued. "That was the night I became convinced that you were pure magic and there was absolutely nothing wrong with being glued to your every breathe." She smiled nostalgically. Edward turned her to face him and wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh, I am." He said with a cocky smirk and Bella's laugh filled the air.

"Oh, I never said I ever changed my mind. I've just since decided that you're black magic." She teased.

"All shades of grey baby, there is no black and white. Maybe I should remind you just how magical I can be?"

"Maybe so, Mr. Cullen." She said with a mischievous look as she pulled his face down to hers.


End file.
